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• Living Together Links
• Books About Cohabitation
• Support and Discussion Groups

Living Together Links

Living Together, Counseling, and Books
An article by a therapist about making decisions about choosing a life partner and deciding whether to live together before marriage. We like this article -- it understands the strengths of cohabitation and is mostly concerned about making healthy decisions.

Ten Ways To Improve Your Chances for a Good Marriage After Cohabitation, by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller.
This short article lists some things cohabitors (or future cohabitors) can do to increase the chance of having a strong marriage.

Books About Cohabitation

* The Laws of Love, by Attorney Donna C. Kline

This hefty guide recognizes the diverse scenarios that arise in different types of living arrangements—all within an accessible legal framework. It provides practical charts, including one that compares cohabitation to marriage with respect to joint bank accounts, child custody, property rights, etc. There is an interesting social history of love and relationships, as well as reader-friendly summaries of court cases and laws.  

* Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, by Attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner, and Frederick Hertz (2006).
This user-friendly book is the best legal guide we've seen on the subject. It contains chapters on renting and buying a home, parenting issues, wills and estate planning, and sample living together agreements for a variety of situations. This 10th edition of the book comes with a computer disk containing forms you can use and modify for your situation. We use our copy all the time. You can support AtMP by buying this book from us online.

* A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples, by Attorneys Hayden Curry, Denis Clifford, and Robin Leonard (2007).
This book is an in-depth, accessible guide to protecting yourself as a same-sex couple. It includes information on medical emergencies, financial matters, parenting, wills, buying a home, and sample contracts for your relationship. You can support AtMP by buying this book from us online.

* Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple, by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller (2002).
Based on interviews with over 100 people in unmarried relationships, this book by AtMP's founders explores the ten most common reasons why people choose not to marry or delay marriage, and outlines a vision for a future that recognizes and supports a wide range of relationships and families, both married and unmarried. You can support AtMP by buying this book from us online. 

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Living Together, by Rosanne Rosen (2000).
This book's attitude seems to be, "If you live together, you're a complete idiot." Not a recommended source of supportive or useful information to couples who are living together or considering it.

Happily! Un-married, by John Curtis (2007). An AtMP reviewer found this "business model for couples" full of "myths about cohabiters’ tendency toward unhappiness" and "a clear thrust toward traditional heteronormative patterns that reinforce old-fashioned gender roles."  You can read the full review of this book here.

Continuity and Change in the American Family by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi (2001).
Written against the backdrop of the "family decline" debate, these sociologists sort the last 50 years of family data into cohesive categories and comparisons by date. They then examine data from the past two decades in relation to family-related behaviors (such as cohabitation, fathering, single-parenting, grand-parenting, work and family) to search for causes of change in the American family and consequences of those changes.
You can read our review of this book here.

Just Living Together: Implications of Cohabitation on Families, Children, and Social Policy, edited by Alan Booth and Ann Crouter (2002).
An excellent collection of articles from a recent academic conference on cohabitation, including research by leading experts in the field.

Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned, by Stacy Whitman and Wynne Whitman (2003).
Written for women in their twenties and thirties who want to get married eventually, Shacking Up contains lots of advice about making the transition to sharing a home, and dealing with Mars and Venus relationship issues.

Money Without Matrimony, by Sheryl Garrett (2005)

Garrett's book addresses financial concerns regarding being unmarried such as health insurance and Social Security survivor benefits. There are also tips on how to save more money. 

Support and Discussion Groups 

iVillage's Living Together messageboards
Chat by people who are in unmarried couples, not necessarily talking about their relationships.

Happily Unmarried (Tribe.net)
Low-volume messageboard for the happily unmarried.

There are two "clubs" in Yahoo for people in unmarried male-female relationships: Unmarried Couples and Living Together. Living Together is the more active, supportive group of the two.

You can also subscribe to the Alternatives to Marriage Project's online discussion list, AtMP-Talk.

Do you have cohabitation books, links, or other resources you'd recommend? Let us know so we can add them to this collection!