Alternatives to Marriage Update:
February-March 2003

In this issue:
Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project
1) Now Accepting Summer Intern Applicants
2) AtMP Perspective in 2nd Taking Sides Textbook
3) You Helped Make the Match!
4) Seeking UU Commitment Ceremony Experiences
In the Media
Heaps of Thanks
Tidbits & Statistics
News From the United States
News From Around the World
Domestic Partnership News (U.S.)
Quoteworthy

Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project

Now Accepting Summer Intern Applicants

Want to spend your summer helping out in the AtMP office? It's a great way to learn about the inner workings of a small, fast-growing nonprofit, while making a difference in the world. A past intern wrote, "AtMP provided me with an excellent learning experience. They did a great job maintaining a balance between structuring the job to help me be effective, and giving me enough freedom to be creative and capitalize on the skills I already had." Internship applications are due March 30th; See ourInternship page for more detail.

AtMP Perspective in 2nd Taking Sides Textbook

Two editions of the popular "Taking Sides: Clashing Views on Controversial Issues" textbook series now include AtMP's articles. The 2003 edition of the Family and Personal Relationships reader includes our article, "What the Research Really Says About Cohabitation." The 2002 Human Sexuality reader includes "Ten Problems with the National Marriage Project's Cohabitation Report." Both books also include opposing viewpoints written by David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the National Marriage Project.

You Helped Make the Match!

Thanks to many generous donors, in the final days of 2002 we reached our $10,000 matching challenge goal! The money raised is being matched by another group of donors, bringing the total to $20,000. Thanks to all who made contributions toward this work for fairness for unmarried people, and special thanks to the matching team who inspired so many others. If you haven't made a contribution, it's quick and easy to do so. Donate now.

Seeking UU Commitment Ceremony Experiences

For research he's doing, co-founder Marshall Miller is looking for Unitarian Universalists who have had a commitment ceremony (same-sex or different-sex relationships), and also people who had a commitment ceremony officiated by a UU minister, regardless of their own religious affiliation (or lack thereof). If you might fit the bill or know someone who does, please contact us here.

In the Media

The phone's been ringing in the AtMP office lately, as the publication of AtMP founders Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot's new book, Unmarried to Each Other, continues to attract attention to the Alternatives to Marriage Project. In the last month, AtMP members and staff have been quoted or featured in the following outlets:

Print Media: Boston Globe, Contra Costa Times (CA), Daily Star (Oneonta, NY), Dallas Morning News, Delta Democrat-Times (MS), Minneapolis Star-Tribune, National Review, Omaha World-Herald, Philadelphia Magazine, Press & Sun Bulletin (Binghamton, NY), Salem Statesman Journal (OR), Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Seattle Times, Southampton Press (NY), Star-Ledger (NJ)

Radio: 8:00 Buzz (Madison, WI), Carter & Company (Jackson, TN), Doug Stephan's Good Day, GenderTalk (Cambridge, MA), K-Rock Magazine (New York City), Lambda Radio Report (Atlanta), OUTspoken (St. Louis), Queer Voices (Houston), Stirling Faux Show (Vancouver).

Online: Salon.com, Frontline's "Let's Get Married" documentary linked to AtMP as a resource on its website, Gawker.com

You can read some of these articles:

"Unwedded Bliss," Salon.com

"The Knot Not Tied,"Omaha World-Herald

"Living in Unwedded Bliss," Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Heaps of Thanks

Congratulations and thank you to Jessica Morgan, who recently ran for and won a seat on the Baltimore County Democratic Central Committee. State law requires candidates to donate any unspent campaign funds to a nonprofit organization, and Jessica sent hers to AtMP! Thanks, Jessica, for your help seeking fairness for unmarried people and families. Want to do your part, even if you're not running for office? AtMP is sustained primarily by individuals who believe this work is important. Donate online .

Statistics & Tidbits

One in Three Northern Ireland Births to Unmarried Parents

A new British government report finds that a third of new births in Northern Ireland, and over half in Belfast, are born to unmarried mothers. New figures also show that the marriage rate is falling, divorce rates are rising, and more people are cohabiting. In the U.S., one-third of first births are to unmarried parents, about the same rate as in Northern Ireland.

Northern Ireland Catholic Students Say Unmarried Sex OK

A survey of 800 15 and 16 year old students in Catholic schools found that only 18% believe sex outside marriage is wrong. The survey, conducted by the Catholic Church's marriage care service, found that almost 30% had had sex, and the same proportion believe there is no need to marry before having children. Most say they think having a happy marriage is very important.

Scotland Considers Legal Changes as Cohabitation Increases

One in seven people in Scotland is cohabiting, and among adults under age 25, cohabitation is twice as common as marriage. Eighty-one percent of people ages 18 to 24 with children had their first child outside of marriage, compared with 13% of those between 45 and 54. The Scottish Executive has proposed legal reforms to recognize the growing number of cohabiting couples, including making cohabitation contracts legal and giving parental responsibility to unmarried fathers who register the birth of their child.

Cohabitation, Living Alone, Unmarried Births Rise in UK

The proportion of British women between the ages of 18 and 49 who are not married doubled to 36% in the past 30 years, according to the Office for National Statistics. As a result, half of British women are now unmarried. The proportion of women in cohabiting relationships rose from 3% to 16% during this period, while nearly a third of households consist of a single person living alone. Births outside marriage have increased over the past 10 years from 30% to 40% of all children born in England and Wales. Last year, the majority of babies born to women under 25 were born to unmarried parents.

British Support Unmarried Couples

A new survey, conducted for the BBC's One's Panorama program, finds that 90% of British believe unmarried couples should receive more legal protections, and that unmarried couples with children should receive the same rights as married couples. Eighty-four percent say it's okay for couples to live together rather than marrying. Seventy-one percent say it would be wrong for same-sex couples to be given increased rights if different-sex couples were not also given the same rights.

More Berliners Live Alone, Unmarried Parents Increase

More than a quarter (26.9%) of the population of Berlin, Germany lives alone, according the 2001 annual statistics almanac. As a result, about one in every two homes is a single person household. The number of unmarried parents has increased from 33% a decade ago to 42%. In addition, the number of weddings registered in Berlin has dropped by almost a third in 2001 compared to a decade ago.

South Australian Marriage Rates at 150 Year Low

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, South Australia's 1991 rate of 4.8 marriages per 1,000 people was the lowest since 1851. The state's birth rate was also the lowest in 150 years.

Japan's Population May Decline as Marriage, Birth Rates Fall

Japan's population is estimated to begin shrinking by 2005 due to declines in marriage and birth rates. Limited acceptance of working wives and mothers has resulted in many Japanese women delaying marriage and having children. The majority of unmarried women in their 20s and 30s live with their parents.

Number of Married Teens Increased in Last Decade

The U.S. Census Bureau reported a 50% increase in the number of 15 to 19 year olds who were married during the 1990s. This trend is counter to that among all Americans, who generally are waiting longer to get married. Experts say the change could be the result of an influx of immigrants, or a trend toward conservatism among teens.

News From the United States

Thanks to Karen Blocksom for compiling the news and statistics for this issue of the Update!

Feds Award Marriage-Promotion Grants to Religious Groups

The Department of Health and Human Services awarded over $550,000 in grants to states and religious and nonprofit organizations to promote marriage within child support programs. The move reflects elements of President Bush's faith-based initiative, parts of which were put into motion when he recently signed executive orders, bypassing Congress.

Legal Group Recommends Sweeping Changes for Unmarrieds

The American Law Institute, an influential group of lawyers and judges, released a set of recommendations that would treat some unmarried same-sex and different-sex couples more like married couples if their relationships end. One divorce court judge who worked on the recommendations said 20% of the couples he sees in divorce court are unmarried. If implemented, the recommendations would affect unmarried couples in relatively lengthy relationships, and those who have children. Couple could "opt-out" by writing their own agreements.

Georgia Overturns Law Banning Unmarried Sex

The Supreme Court of Georgia overturned an 1833 "fornication" law that made it illegal for unmarried people to have sex. The court threw out a conviction against a 16 year old boy whose girlfriend's mother discovered the pair having sex in the girl's bedroom. Sixteen is the legal age of consent in the state. The Chief Justice wrote, "The government may not reach into the bedroom of a private residence and criminalize ... private, noncommercial, consensual sexual acts."

North Dakota Moves to Repeal Anti-Cohabitation Law

North Dakota's House of Representatives recently voted to repeal the state's archaic law that makes it illegal for unmarried men and women to live together. The measure goes next to the state Senate. The law is listed among North Dakota's other sex crimes, such as rape, sexual assault and incest, and carries a maximum penalty of 30 days in jail and a $1,000 fine. Click for a list of states with similar laws.

Bush Nominee Advises Abstinence for Unmarried

The Bush administration recently nominated to the FDA's Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs a doctor who has opposes sex among unmarried adults. OB/GYN W. David Hager, a member of the PhysiciansResource Council for Focus on the Family, has called abstinence "the only medically safe and morally responsible choice for unmarried persons," and opposes abortion. The advisory committee could be influential in determining U.S. reproductive health policy.

Married Couples Would Benefit Most from Bush Tax Proposals
President Bush's tax plan would benefit the wealthy and married couples with dependent children the most, according to USA Today. The plan includes increases in the per-child tax credit and more rapid elimination of the so-called "marriage penalty." Even at the identical income level, married people would benefit far more than unmarried ones. In fact, most married couples receive a marriage bonus, not a marriage penalty. The Alternatives to Marriage Project believes that people should be taxed based on their income, not their marital status. People should be neither rewarded nor punished because they're married or not married.

Chinese Unmarried Couple Denied Asylum in U.S.
A federal appeals panel denied asylum to an unmarried couple who claimed they fled from China to escape threats of forced sterilization and abortion. The couple, ages 19 and 21, are too young to marry under Chinese law, and say the woman was given a forced pregnancy exam after being found spending time with her boyfriend. However, the Board of Immigration Appeals says that the woman failed to demonstrate that she was persecuted or would be if she returned to China.

Marriages Increase Among Soldiers Being Deployed
As soldiers are deployed to the Persian Gulf, many are choosing to marry before they leave. In Morehead, NC in January, 235 couples were married before troops were deployed, more than twice the usual January total. Camp Pendleton, north of San Diego, expected a record number of nuptials for the month.

Connecticut Town Pool Recognizes Unmarried Couples as Families
The West Hartford, CT town council approved a settlement to allow unmarried couples to receive the family membership rate at the town's pool facility. Five couples, three same-sex and two different-sex, had filed a discrimination complaint four years ago, arguing that the town wrongly used marital status as a criterion for equal access to a public accommodation.

Florida Governor Wants to Combat Divorce Rate
Florida Governor Jeb Bush said his goal to strengthen families during his second term will be aimed at reducing the state's divorce rate, but said that he does not want to make it more difficult to get divorced. Florida House Speaker Byrd suggested school curriculum that would emphasize the commitment of marriage. Florida already requires "marriage education" as a high school graduation requirement.

News From Around the World

Belgium Second to Recognize Same-Sex Marriage

Belgium recently became the second nation in the world to officially recognize same-sex marriages. The legislation, which was already backed by the Senate in November, was approved by 91 of the 122 deputies in the lower house of the Belgian parliament following years of heated debate. The Netherlands approved same-sex marriages two years ago, but unlike its northern neighbor, Belgium did not allow such couples to adopt children.

Unmarried Couples Gain Adoption Rights In Britain

Britain's House of Lords approved legislation that will allow unmarried different-sex and same-sex couples to adopt children, reversing an earlier vote and ensuring that the bill will become law. Britain will become the fifth European country to permit adoption by unmarried couples.

British Government To Give Rights to Same-Sex Couples

According to a British government official, same-sex couples that register their relationships may be given many of the same legal rights as married couples, although the partnerships would not be equivalent to marriage. A proposal to extend the policy to unmarried different-sex couples has been dropped. Opponents say the plan it devalues marriage.

Chinese Province Expands Reproductive Access for Unmarrieds

In China's Jilin Province, a recently introduced clause in the Population and Family Planning Regulation makes it legal for unmarried women to have children using reproductive technology. It is reportedly the only province with such a policy.

Taiwanese Law To Require Premarital Counseling

A new law passed in Taiwan, intended to reduce the growing rate of divorce, requires couples to receive at least four hours of marriage counseling before getting married.

Japan Hopes To Boost Birth Rate by Promoting Marriage

Japan's Health Ministry plans to subsidize matchmaking meetings hosted by local governments in an effort to promote marriage and, as a result, boost birth rates. Some towns and cities have already begun hosting matchmaking parties, cruises, and hikes, and providing financial incentives to matchmakers.

Domestic Partnerships Granted by Law in Spanish Province

A new law in the Spanish Province of Aragon recognizes domestic partnership rights for same-sex and different-sex unmarried couples. The law gives different-sex couples, but not same-sex couples, the right to adopt together.

'Honor Killings' Rise in Pakistan

In 2002, 461 women in Pakistan were murdered by family members for so-called immoral behavior ranging from sex outside marriage to being raped or cooking poorly, according to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan. This is a 25% increase over 2001. In most cases, those who perform the 'honor killings' are not punished, but authorities say they are taking steps to reduce such crimes against women and act when they are reported.

Brazil's New Laws Give Rights to Women, Children

A new civil code in Brazil will give women equal rights to men in marriage, says men are no longer the head of the family, and no longer gives men the right to throw out a bride because she is not a virgin. Adopted children and those born to unmarried parents will now receive the same rights as those born to married couples, because "family" is now defined as members of any stable union. However, same-sex couples are still excluded from this definition.

Canadian Court Says No Automatic 50-50 Split for Unmarrieds

The Supreme Court of Canada says the law does not have to treat unmarried couples as married when it comes to dividing assets in a breakup, although spousal and child-support obligations still apply. In Quebec, Nova Scotia, and British Columbia, couples can register a relationship or sign an agreement to opt in to the 50-50 split, and Saskatchewan, Northwest Territories, and Nunavut automatically extend the presumption of equal asset division to common-law (unmarried) couples. The decision focused only on different-sex couples.

Domestic Partnership News (U.S.)

Minneapolis To Adopt Equal Benefits Rule

The Minneapolis City Council recently passed an ordinance to take effect January 1, 2004, that will require companies with contracts with the city of more than $100,000 provide domestic partner benefits to employees. The requirement will apply to same-sex and different-sex domestic partnerships, but exceptions to the ordinance include very small businesses and faith-based contractors. Cities with similar policies include Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle.

American Family Insurance to Offer Health Benefits for Domestic Partners

American Family Insurance, the largest private employer in Madison, Wisconsin, will extend health benefits to domestic partners beginning in 2003. Health plan options will include the domestic partners benefit for both same-sex and different-sex partners and their dependent children.

Employers Offering Domestic Partner Benefits

According to the Human Rights Campaign, the following employers have recently announced or implemented domestic partner benefits: Anheuser-Busch, the County of Cumberland, Maine, Elon University, Geisinger Health Systems, H & R Block, Lockheed Martin Corporation, Mercy College, Monmouth University, Sacramento Municipal Utility District, Sara Lee Corporation, Sears, Roebuck and Company, Stuart Silk Architects, T-Mobile USA (formerly Voicestream), United Health Group, and Weston & Sampson Engineers Inc.

New York County May Create DP Registry

The Westchester County Legislature voted to establish a domestic partners registry, available to both same-sex and different-sex partners. Employers could rely on registration to determine eligibility for domestic partner benefits. The county executive is expected to sign the registry into law.

New Hampshire Town's Teachers Union Requests DP Benefits

The teachers' union in Lebanon, New Hampshire has requested that the school board extend health insurance benefits to same-sex couples that have been joined in a Vermont civil union. The issue may have to wait two years until the current teachers' contract expires.

U. of Nebraska: Marketplace Will Force DP Benefits

The chancellor of the University of Nebraska predicts that domestic partner benefits will have to be offered to keep the university competitive in recruiting faculty and staff in the national marketplace. A study of domestic partner benefits was completed in December 2001, but no action has been taken so far.

Reporters Protest for DP Benefits

Hundreds of Associated Press employees returned small gift key chains touting the company's commitment to diversity, in order to protest the AP's refusal to offer health benefits for domestic partners. Both the New Media Guild -- the collective bargaining unit for AP employees -- and the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association support the employee protest.

Alaska High Court Weighs DP Benefits

The Alaska Supreme court will decide whether the state constitution requires the government to offer domestic partner benefits. In 1998, voters amended the constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage. In response, the ACLU has filed the demand for domestic partner rights for same-sex couples because they are unable to marry. The state argues that benefits must be limited to promote the institution of marriage.

Quoteworthy

There are all kinds of families -- no one has the right to tell you that your family isn't the right kind. ... Valuing families means recognizing that families -- in all their shapes and sizes -- really are trying hard to do right by one another."
- Al & Tipper Gore, Joined at the Heart: The Transformation of the American Family, pp. 2-3