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| July-August 2003 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Update: July-August 2003
In this issue:
Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project
In the Media AtMP Needs Your Help Share Your Story, Educate the Public AtMP's supporters tell us their number one priority is to educate the public about unmarried issues and family diversity. We need your help to do this effectively: journalists and writers regularly ask us to help them find unmarried couples from their area who are willing to be interviewed. Right now we're looking for people in the following places, who fit the following descriptions:
If you fit any of the descriptions above, please contact us with your name, city, state, a brief description of your situation, and a daytime phone number. Thank you! Help Needed in New Jersey Organizers in New Jersey are working to introduce state legislation that would recognize domestic partners (same-sex, different-sex, and other adults in emotionally and economically committed relationships). If such legislation passed, it would put the state in the forefront of recognizing a broad range of relationships and families. Local activists are looking for volunteers who can help organize, couples who can share their stories with media and at legislative hearings, and supporters who can spread the word among friends and neighbors. If you can help, contact usand we'll get you connected.
Please Make a Donation to Help AtMP Thrive Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project AtMP Endorses Position Paper on Marriage/Welfare AtMP is pleased to add our name to the long list of academics and activists opposing using welfare dollars to promote marriage. Read the paper and see what you can do to help the campaign! Thousandth Person Signs Affirmation of Family Diversity AtMP's Affirmation of Family Diversity, first unveiled in 2000, recently garnered its 1,000th signature! The Affirmation is our statement of support for all kinds of families, a celebration of the forms that healthy relationships and families can take. View the list of signatories or add your name! AtMP Member Gets Partners Added to Personnel Policy Lyssa Andersson, an AtMP member in Massachusetts, is a member of her church's Personnel Committee. The change she proposed to the church's policy was accepted, so that domestic partners are now included in the benefits package for church employees. Lyssa writes: "It was a hard sell, because no one has ever asked for these benefits, and no one will be taking advantage of them at this time, but I made the point that, as a welcoming UU [Unitarian Universalist] congregation, it is our duty to make these benefits available. I hope this lights a fire under at least one person to do the same!" If you do, let AtMP know, so we can share the good news!
Welcome to Summer Intern In the Media AtMP in the Public Conversation on Marriage Marriage and alternatives to marriage continued to make headlines in recent months. Some highlights of our spring media coverage:
Let Them Eat Wedding Rings Report Affects Debate Our report on marriage promotion and welfare reform, "Let Them Eat Wedding Rings," continues to be cited by others writing about the subject. Most recently, it was mentioned (as an opposing viewpoint) in the Family Research Council's Insight article "Why Marriage Should Be Privileged in Public Policy," and in an article by the Connecticut General Assembly's Permanent Commission onthe Status of Women, "Marriage Promotion and Welfare Policy: Not a Perfect Match." And that's not all! Here's a partial list of AtMP's other media appearances in the last few months:
Television: CNNfn news, PowerLunch (CNBC), Fox Philadelphia, The
Flipside (CNNfn), and Real Life with Mary Amoroso (CN8)
You can read some of these articles:
Heaps of Thanks Thank you to departing interns Tucker Lieberman and Meaghan Lamarre, who helped AtMP during the fall and spring semesters. Both were great behind-the-scenes helpers for AtMP's three houseparties last fall, and they've both been busy keeping things running smoothly in our office. Thanks, Tucker and Meaghan, for all your hard work! Thanks to all the volunteers who helped get our most recent fundraising mailing out the door, and who helped at our recent conference booth at Unitarian Universalist General Assembly! These included Lyssa Andersson, Ashton Applewhite, Charles Backman, Susan Berry, Kate Brick, LaKay Cornell, Carolyn Cronin, Mark Dulcey, Micah Ellinger, Woody Glenn, Bobbi Keppel, John Kilguss, Jing Liu, Meaghan Lamarre, Tucker Lieberman, Jaye Mahon, Luke Mechem, Suzanne Miller, Laurie Nelson, Julia Nickles, Melissa Perna, Susan Rooney, Sunessa Schettler, Anne Slepian, Laura Anne Stuart, Pam Williams, Walter vom Saal, Sarah Wright, and Deborah Zysman. Book Buzz The End of Marriage? Individualism and Intimate Relations, by Jane Lewis (2001) Reviewed by Dorian Solot The End of Marriage? isn't light summer reading, but its academic perspective on changes in marriage and the rise of unmarried relationships is a fascinating and unusual one. That may be in part because the author, Jane Lewis, and the publisher are British, rescuing the book from American cultural ruts in the marriage debates. Lewis begins with an overview of the changing demographics of marriage and cohabitation in Europe and the U.S., and an exploration of the claim that the primary problem facing families is increasing selfishness and individualism among adults. In Part 2, she traces the history of the meanings of marriage and the centuries of debates over the state's role in regulating the institution. These political debates have been particularly interesting and heated in the U.K., where some mainstream political groups have argued that there is little need to distinguish between married and unmarried relationships. In Part 3, she reports on new qualitative and quantitative research examining why married and cohabiting couples with children make the relationship choices they do. The quotes and stories sound remarkably similar to those of AtMP members, and Lewis's added insights make this possibly the most interesting section of the book. The different parts of The End of Marriage? can be jarring, as if they belonged in different books. But Lewis's conclusion, that "it seems odd that many of those seeking to promote marriage can only suggest ways of doing so that penalise alternative forms of intimate relationships," is welcome and needed. Statistics & Tidbits Census Releases More Data on Unmarried Partners Newly released Census reports from 2000 show that unmarried couples are more likely than married ones to be young and live in an urban area, and are twice as likely to be African-American or Native American than white. While 6% of married couples are interracial, 12% of unmarried couples are interracial. Forty-three percent of different-sex unmarried couples are living with children as are 33% of female same-sex couples, 22%of male same-sex couples, and 46% of married couples. Couple Marries After Seven Decades of Living Together An Oklahoma City couple married after living together for 78 years, in a ceremony attended by three of their grandchildren, among other guests. The grandchildren were said to have pushed for a wedding for their 94 and 95 year old grandparents. Study Finds Marriage Doesn't Increase Happiness A 15-year study of 24,000 people in Germany (including 7,000 foreigners and immigrants living in Germany) found that people's level of happiness or unhappiness is the same as it was before the relationship began, except for a two-year happiness boost among newlyweds. The study's findings, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggest that happier people are more likely to form relationships, not that marriage makes people happier. Percent of Unmarried Asian-Americans Rises According to the Census, the percentage of unmarried Asian-Americans increased from 31% in 1994 to 33 percent in 2002. In the U.S. overall, 29% of residents are unmarried. Majority of British Households Now Unmarried The 2001 British census shows that, for the first time, less than half of households are headed by married couples. There has been a steady decline in recent years. The figures were 68% in 1971, 64% in 1981, 55% in 1991, and now 45% in 2001. One-person households now represent 30% of all households. Cohabiting couples represent 8% of all households in England and Wales (very close to the U.S.'s 9%). French Priest Refuses to Marry Childfree Couple A French couple was refused a religious wedding ceremony by the Catholic church because they said they did not want to have children, according to a French newspaper. The pair told the parish priest that they were afraid of passing on a nervous disorder from which the woman suffered. Church officials told the paper that in the Catholic marriage ceremony, the bride and groom must declare that they intend to have children and accept the "responsibility of spouse and parent." News From the United States Thanks to Tucker Lieberman for compiling the news and statistics for this issue of the Update!
Supreme Court Ends Bans on Gay & Unmarried Sex In a landmark decision, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws across the country that criminalized consensual sex in private. "Sodomy laws" that made oral and anal sex illegal (in some states just among same-sex couples, sometimes for any couple), and "fornication laws" that made it illegal for unmarried couples to have intercourse, were still on the books in about 13 states. Although couples were rarely prosecuted under the laws, they were often used to justify discrimination in employment, housing, and child custody.
Unmarried Can Sue for Loss of Consortium
North Dakota Keeps Anti-Cohabitation Law on the Books
Iowa Parents Who Cohabit Could Risk Losing Custody
Yale Students Argue for On-Campus Cohabitation News From Around the World
Canadian Province Recognizes Same-Sex Marriage American GLBT legal groups urged caution to same-sex couples considering crossing the border to tie the knot. Although there is no residency requirement to marry, a one-year residency is required to get a divorce, meaning that American couples could find themselves with no way to end their marriage, since it may not be recognized in their own state. The legal groups also pointed out that "the decision to marry is not a political gesture, but one that carries substantial and permanent legal obligations," and warned against entering a Canadian marriage in hopes of filing a high-profile American lawsuit seeking marriage recognition. Want more info on the joint statement from American GLBT groups?
EU Will Recognize Partnerships from Other Countries
Australia Equalizes Same-Sex, Different Sex Unmarried Couples
British Military Extends Survivors' Benefits to Unmarried Partners
UK Church Report Recommends Acceptance of Cohabitation The report rejects cohabitation that is not intended to lead to marriage.
Scottish Political Party Pledges Marriage' Legal Rights for Unmarrieds
Singapore Gov't Campaign Promotes Romance
Vietnamese Gov't Promotes Marriage Door-to-Door
Philippines Says Unmarried Women Eligible for Maternity Benefits Domestic Partnership News (U.S.)
DP Registries Launched in Eugene, Southampton, Kansas County Jackson County, Kansas, created a Voluntary Civil Union Registry, open to same-sex and different-sex couples. It will not have any legal impact.
Defense Contractor, Major Drugmaker, Others Offer Inclusive DP Benefits Eli Lilly and Company will offer health and other benefits to same-sex and different-sex unmarried domestic partners of its U.S. employees and retirees. Of 12 major drugmakers in the United States, Lilly said it found that it was among only two that don't offer the benefit. "We simply cannot afford to be at any competitive disadvantage in this war for talent," a Lilly spokesman said. 22,000 employees will be eligible. Temple University will become the first public university in Pennsylvania to offer domestic partner benefits. The benefits will be available to same-sex and different-sex partners of employees of white-collar union staff, faculty, and graduate students. Couples will have to pay the premiums themselves, a compromise that will not require expenditure of state or university funds. A new contract with Iowa state workers extends health and dental benefits to same-sex and different-sex domestic partners. Employees at Iowa's three state universities have had this benefit since 2000.
Lexington, KY Leaders Argue Over Offering DP Benefits
Associated Press To Offer Same-Sex DP Benefits
Democratic Candidates Support Same-Sex DP Benefits
Portland Agencies Refuse to Provide DP Benefits, Sue City
More Employers Offer DP Benefits Quoteworthy
"Basing a government policy of supporting families almost entirely upon marriage as an institution seems to leave the government with its head
rather deep in the sand." |
