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New Features! AtMP has partnered with Powell's Books. If you click a book title on this page and purchase the book from Powell's, a portion of your purchase will support AtMP! In fact, any Powell's purchase by searching or linking from this page will support our work!
AtMP especially thanks these authors and organizations for their partnership and support*.
Books
* Cutting Loose: Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well by
Ashton Applewhite (1998).
Contrary to the image of the financially-strapped,
emotionally-exhausted divorcee, this book tells the stories of women
who thrived after leaving unhappy relationships and offers
encouragement and advice on surviving divorce. Written by an AtMP board
member.
* Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique, by
Jaclyn Geller (2001).
A scathing critique of the institution by a feminist who argues
that it's not OK to get married. Geller focuses particular attention on
how marriage proposals, engagement announcements, wedding invitations,
brides, wedding dresses, and weddings themselves are represented in
popular culture.To read our full review of this book, check out our July 2001 Update.
* Heterosexual Women Changing the Family: Refusing to be a 'Wife'! by
Jo Van Every (1995).
About women in a variety of "anti-sexist living arrangements," both married
and unmarried.
Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives by Dalma
Heyn (1997).
Based on interviews and surveys with married women, Heyn chronicles how
women change -- often for the worse -- after they get married. Although
Heyn concludes that more "conscious" marriages could prevent what she calls
"marriage shock," some of us might find her data another good reason not to
get married. We found this book to be a fascinating read.
* Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an
Unmarried Couple, by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller (2002).
Not everyone interviewed for this book is childfree, but many are, and it
contains lots of stories and advice on choosing life without wedding rings.
Written by AtMP's founders. You can support AtMP by buying this book from us
online.
* The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap by
Stephanie Coontz (1992) and
* The Way We Really Are: Coming To Terms With America's Changing
Families by Stephanie Coontz (1997)
This pair of books by historian Stephanie Coontz offer clarifying insights
into how families have and have not changed -- based on actual information,
instead of alarmist "family values" hand-wringing. These are not
anti-marriage books, but they do offer a more realistic look at
contemporary families.
White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture by
Chrys Ingraham (1999).
In this book, Chrys Ingraham provides a much-needed critique of the $35
billion dollar a year wedding industry. Just as Coca-Cola sells soft
drinks, the wedding industry's product is marriage, and its magazines,
advertising, and billboards are yet another source of the pressure to
marry. To read our full review of this book, check out our May 1999 Update.
Lifework: What Marriage Really Means for Women, by Susan Maushart
(2001).
The role of "wife" is one feminists critiqued harshly in the '60s and '70s,
but since that time the assumption seems to be that gender roles in
marriage have changed. In Wifework, Susan Maushart shows that they have not
-- or not nearly enough.
To read our full review of this book, check out our
February/March 2002 Update.
* Women Who May Never Marry: The Reasons, Realities, and
Opportunities by Leanna Wolfe (1993).
This fascinating book, written by a feminist anthropologist, explores the
multitudes of reasons women might not be married, focusing mostly on women
who are not in relationships (as opposed to women in unmarried
relationships).
MarriageFree Links
Alternatives to Marriage Live Journal
Messageboards about alternatives to marriage. This site is independent
of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, depsite the similarity in
name.
Alternatives to Marriage Project store
Buy t-shirts, bumper stickers, and mugs with slogans like, "Don't marry, be
happy" and "I'd get married but I don't approve of the lifestyle." All
profits support AtMP's work for unmarried people!
Anti-Marriage Shop
T-shirts,
sweatshirts, mugs, and more with slogans like "Friends don't let
friends get married" and "Marriage is like a roll of toilet paper...".
Books Critical of Traditional Marriage
This annotated bibliograhy by James Park lists twelve books on the subject, most printed in the 1970s and 80s.
The Case Against Matrimony
This Salon.com article by Larissa Phillips, a woman raising a child in a
long-term unmarried relationship, asks, "If marriage is risky, doomed and
expensive, why bother?"
Legitimize Bastardy!
This article from a 1996 issue of the Secular Humanist
Bulletinargues why humanists should oppose marriage, calling it "a
corrupt, misogynistic, and outmoded institution."
Lucy Stone
League
An organization that advocates for "name choice freedom," protesting that 3
million women each year abandon their names when they get married.
Marriage and Love, by Emma Goldman (1911)
This article from nearly a century ago shows that those of us
who prefer not to marry have a long and respectable history. In her
essay, radical activist Emma Goldman argues that marriage is a failure
and a poor investment, especially for women. Amusingly, she cites the
8% divorce rate as one of her items of proof, even though in comparison
to today's numbers 8% would be a rate many would celebrate!
Marriage Traditions in Various Times and Cultures
This page counters the idea that there is one form of "traditional
marriage" by tracing the many forms marriage has taken in different
historical eras and cultures, from the Bible to the British-American
colonies.
Straight Marriage Under Protest
This article by Sarah Deer explores options for male-female couples who are
concerned about how to use their privilege responsibly, since the option of
getting married is not available to same-sex couples anywhere in the
country.
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