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| May 2000 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Update In this issue:
In the Media In the Media It's been a record-setting media month for the Alternatives to Marriage Project (ATMP)! USA Today Mentions ATMP, Quotes ATMP Members On April 18th, the front page of the USA Today Life section featured a series of three articles on unmarried couples. Two of the articles (a general one about the increase in cohabitation, and a piece on the ways unmarried couples can protect themselves legally) quoted ATMP founders Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot and mentioned our unmarried.org website. The third article, called "Wedded to their Relationship but Not to Marriage" told the story of ATMP members Janna Cordeiro and Sebastian Toomey, who have been together about ten years. You can read the articles online: general article, (legal issues), and AtMP Members' Story. Other Media Follows USA Today's Lead At least eight newspapers that we know of reprinted the USA Today articles (newspapers in Detroit, MI; Poughkeepsie, NY; Burlington, VT; Rochester, NY; Georgia; New Jersey; South Carolina; and Washington state). We also received several requests for radio interviews, and Dorian was on the Michael Medved Show (a nationally syndicated call-in show), and call-in shows in Toledo, Ohio and Gulfport, Mississippi. ATMP works for greater understanding and acceptance for unmarried people, and media coverage is an important opportunity for education. We see newspaper articles and radio and television reports about cohabitation that interview unmarried people speaking about their own experiences as an exciting sign of progress. These stories educate our married supporters, friends, and families. They also help our community grow, as evidenced by the web hit record, below. Web Hit Record During the month of April, the ATMP website received more than double the number of hits it's ever received in any month of the organization's history. The number of e-mails and online surveys we got also rose dramatically. Since part of our mission is to form a community of unmarried people who can learn from and support each other, as well as speak out about our common needs, we're thrilled to watch the community grow. Welcome to the many people who just learned about the Alternatives to Marriage Project in the last month! Professional Friends Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot recently attended the conference of the Council on Contemporary Families (CCF), a nonprofit organization of family researchers, theorists, and practitioners. The organization was formed in part in response to these professionals' belief that family issues are frequently misrepresesnted in the media. CCF "seeks to transform polarized discussion about families from a debate which pits 'traditional' against 'nontraditional' forms to a more useful exploration of the changing conditions and needs of contemporary families." You can read moreabout the organization at http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org. Book Buzz White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Cultureby Chrys Ingraham (Routledge, 1999) Reviewed by Marshall Miller In this book, Chrys Ingraham provides a much-needed critique of the $35 billion dollar a year wedding industry. Just as Coca-Cola sells soft drinks, the wedding industry's product is marriage, and its magazines, advertising, and billboards are yet another source of the pressure to marry. Ingraham carefully dissects each aspect of this industry, from Bride's magazine to honeymoon cruises to Disney weddings, revealing some striking details. For example, she explains how bridal shops routinely (and illegally) cut the tags out of wedding gowns in order to prevent comparison shopping. Ingraham is well-aware that critiquing weddings can result in charges of being "unromantic." She writes, "To develop critical consciousness when romance is the prevailing form is to challenge the boundaries of acceptability. To explain my critique to the reader could construct me as unfit for marriage, embittered by love lost, or just not a very happy person." This sentiment may ring true for many of us who have chosen not to marry, as we are frequently forced to defend our decision as though there were something wrong with us. Ingraham stops short of suggesting a boycott of the wedding industry by not getting married, but those who have already done so will find plenty of support in this book. If you've read a book that you think might interest others who like to ponder marriage and non-marriage, we invite you to write a couple of paragraphs about it for this section of our newsletter! Marrying for Health Insurance Do you know someone who got married primarily to get health insurance? We hear "friend of a friend" stories all the time about couples who get so that they can add one partner to the other partner's health insurance policy. As part of our research to understand the complexity of reasons people do and don't get married, we are very interested in interviewing people for whom health insurance was a major factor in the decision to get married. If you or someone you know fits this description, please get in touch with us or 518-462-5600). We always respect interviewees' limits regarding confidentiality. Tidbits Elian Gonzalez Was Child of Unmarried Couple When 6-year-old Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez was born, his mother and father weren't married. By the time Elian was born to Elisabeth Brotons-Rodriguez on December 6, 1993, she had been divorced from his father, Juan Miguel Gonzalez, for more than two and a half years. Elian's mother had had seven miscarriages over the course of her relationship with Juan Miguel, and Juan says he and his ex-wife decided to try one more time for kids while he was "in between relationships" with other women. He and Elisabeth went to a fertility clinic in Havana and conceived Elian. Despite the successful birth, the couple did not remarry. Some lawyers are arguing that the timing of Elian's birth could have a bearing on the legal claim Mr. Gonzalez might have over his son under U.S. law. We find it interesting that the American public, and all the courts so far, have leaned so strongly in favor of Elian's father's parental rights regardless of whether or not he was married to Elian's mother. We haven't heard people asking questions about his marital status; instead, we've heard mostly concern that he and his child weren't reunited sooner regardless of whether they ultimately live in Cuba or the U.S. From our perspective, this is one more reminder of how these days, parental rights are almost never based on the parents' marital status. News From the United States Special thanks to Deva Kyle for compiling and editing the news in this issue! Vermont Civil Unions Become Law Vermont adopted a law that makes the state the first in the nation to give same-sex couples the benefits of marriage. The law creates civil unions, a legal framework parallel to marriage. Same-sex couples will be able to go to their town clerk to obtain a civil union license, just as different-sex couples obtain marriage licenses. The civil unions then would be certified by a justice of the peace, judge or member of the clergy, just as marriages. Breakups between civil-union partners will be handled like divorces, through Family Court, although they will be called dissolutions. Civil-union partners would gain all of the benefits that the state confers through marriage, such as making medical decisions on behalf of partners or inheritance. The state action, however, has no effect on federal programs, such as Social Security. The first civil unions ceremonies can take place after July 1. Lesbian Couple Seeks To Live in Married Student Housing The lawyer for a lesbian medical student asked a New York state appeals court to order Yeshiva University to let the woman and her domestic partner live together in school-subsidized housing. The university permits married students to live in school housing only with spouses and children, and a lower court decision last year gave the university the right to bar students from living with same-sex partners. The student's lawyer is arguing that Yeshiva's policy discriminates on the basis of marital status and sexual orientation in violation of city and state law. Polygamy Lawsuit in Utah Considered Landmark Case The prosecution of a self-proclaimed polygamist in Utah could prove a defining moment for Utah law enforcement -- or it could bring about the decriminalization of plural marriage. Opponents of polygamy see the prosecution as an opportunity to test the merits of existing Utah law and push for enforcement. Polygamists see it as possibly a vehicle for taking the issue all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court as a test of religious freedom. The defendant in the case, Thomas Arthur Green, has five wives and was featured on the TV show 60 Minutes. Green says he is willing to go to jail for his religious beliefs. News From Around the World British Unions Support DP Benefits Britain's Trades Union Congress (TUC) has called for legal protections from job discrimination based on sexual orientation and for spousal benefits for the same-sex partners of employees. The TUC commissioned a survey which found widespread support for these positions, and will be publishing the results in a survey called "Straight Up! Why the Law Should Protect Lesbian and Gay Workers." Thousands of French Couples Sign Up for Non-Marriage "Civil Unions" In November 1999 France created a new form of legal partnership called a civil solidarity pact, or Pacte civil de solidarité, "PACS." Since the new system took effect, the government has recorded almost 14,000 PACS couples. Under the law, when a couple is joined in such a union both parties are responsible for financially supporting each other. Any purchases and debts are theirs jointly, unless otherwise specified. In three years, they can file a joint income tax form and get the same tax break as married couples. They are usually eligible immediately for the other person's work benefits. A PACS is much easier to dissolve than a marriage and does not require a lawyer to do so. Couple Goes to Court for British Partner Immigration A bi-national gay couple appeared in London's High Court seeking immigration rights. The British Home Office had refused entry to a Brazilian man and ordered his expulsion despite his relationship with his Belfast-born partner. Their lawyer claimed that the Brazilian should be considered a family member, and charged that denying the partner's entry was a violation of the European Convention on Human Rights requirement for "respect for private and family life" and European Union guarantees of freedom of movement. Home Office policy required four years of cohabitation before recognizing an unmarried couple, and officials refused either to include the period the couple were separated or to give the Brazilian the chance to stay in the UK to complete the four-year qualifying period. The case has been adjourned for the Home Office to make its submissions. Canadian Province Pressures Gov't To Give Benefits to Unmarrieds The Nova Scotia Court of Appeal ruled that the province's Matrimonial Property Act, which defines a "spouse" as a married person, violates the Charter of Rights and Freedoms since it does not include unmarried partners. The lawsuit challenging the law was brought by a woman who lived with her male partner about ten years and bore two children with him. The three-judge panel did not yet redefine "spouse", but has suspended its decision for a year, pressuring the province to provide marriage benefits to unmarried couples. One justice wrote, "The MPA perpetuates the view that unmarried partners are less worthy of recognition, or value, as human beings or as members of Canadian society, equally deserving of concern, respect and consideration." UK Church May Refuse to Baptize Babies of Unmarried Couples A British rector has warned unmarried couples that he may refuse to baptize their children because they are "living in sin". The reverend issued a leaflet to parishioners explaining that if unmarried parents wished to have their son or daughter baptized, he will suggest that they marry first. Some parents are now boycotting services at St Mary's Parish Church in Cheadle, Greater Manchester, annoyed that they are being singled out while baptisms are being permitted for the children of single parents. Domestic Partner News (U.S.) Virginia Justices Strike Down DP Benefits A unanimous Virginia Supreme Court struck down an Arlington County law yesterday that conferred health insurance benefits on the unmarried domestic partners of local government employees. The county said it plans no appeal. The state's high court ruled 7 to 0 that Arlington erred three years ago when it expanded its legal definition of eligible dependents to include domestic partners. The court said the General Assembly had never expressly granted such authority to local governments. Arlington County Board members vowed to keep fighting for domestic partner benefits for county workers. Albuquerque Adds Inclusive DP Benefits Albuquerque, New Mexico Mayor Jim Baca has signed a measure that will provide insurance for same-sex and different-sex domestic partners of unmarried city employees. Several corporations in Albuquerque have similar policies, such as U.S. West Communications. Under the plan, city employees would be required to prove that they've been living with the partner for twelve months, show an affidavit of partnership, and show three joint documents, such as a joint checking account, joint lease or joint auto registration. DP Benefits Issue Becomes Part of Washington Budget Debate As Washington state House and Senate negotiators were nearing a budget agreement, Republicans insisted that language be added to the budget that would prohibit a state board from deciding whether health insurance benefits should be extended to same sex domestic partners of state employees. Although the domestic partner issue has been simmering for years, in December, the Washington Federation of State Employees turned up the heat when it sought benefits for gay couples by filing a legal claim against the state. The issue is under consideration by the Public Employees Benefits Board, which decides eligibility for state employee benefits. Washington's governor has said he supports providing the benefits. Investigation of Pittsburgh DP Discrimination Case Halted Pittsburgh's Human Relations Commission has been ordered to stop investigating a four-year-old domestic partner discrimination complaint against the university. A judge issued a temporary order stopping the Commission on Human Relations' investigation of a discrimination complaint by gay and lesbian employees of the University of Pittsburgh seeking domestic partner health care benefits. Common Pleas Judge Robert Gallo agreed with the school that its policy of spousal benefits only to married couples is not discriminatory, even though same-gender couples can't marry. He also cited a state law rushed through last year specifically to protect Pitt from being forced by the city to extend the benefit. Other Employers Add DP Benefits The following employers have announced they will offer domestic partner benefits: Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Connecticut, Baldwin-Wallace College, Dickinson Wright and Freeman, Gray Cary Ware & Friedenrich, and the Providence, Rhode Island Fire Department (same-sex only). |
