The United States military is under a lot of pressure to catch up with our evolving culture and demographics.  Individual service members - whether single, partnered or married - deserve fairness from their employers (a.k.a. the armed services), as well as respect from civilians.

Service members' stories

Rules and regulations 

Service members' stories

AtMP has heard from many service members and veterans whose marital status either caused or was caused by an unfair situation. 

For example, in commending our advocacy on hospital visitation, Patrick said:  "... We are both disabled, retired military veterans, and if we were to marry, our combined incomes would negate some of our medical treatment from the VA!  Our combined retirements don’t leave any 'wealth' after the bare necessities of modest quarters, utilities, medicines, treatments the VA prescribes, but, cannot provide, and our food!  How unfair is that? Then, for us to visit each other during medical emergencies, we have to disclose that we are loving partners, but, like [so many] heterosexual couples in America, we see many valid reasons that we cannot get the government taxation marriage license! ..."

In encouraging fellow unmarried people to document their wishes about medical decision making, an anonymous member said: "We have already taken the important steps to cover ourselves in case anissue like this should arise.  We have power of attorney, living wills,and all other assets of our home documented in Wills to be left to one another if one should [predecease] the other. Being a former military wife, my medical [coverage] is intact, but [it] could be taken away if Ishould choose to marry. I will not [marry] because of this; it is not fair, but at 55 I believe it is a wise decision. ..."

Rules and regulations

In 2008, AtMP 'commissioned' Leslie Talbot to write an article about marital status discrimination in military rules and regulations.  She found lots of great information.

Read it here.

That article was cited by the wonderful blog Singletude, along with lots more great information.  Here's an excerpt:

"... the armed forces have a longstanding history of favoritism to married couples, most clearly evident in the inequitable distribution of the Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and Family Separation Allowance (FSA). The BAH, BAS, and FSA are untaxed monetary supplements, partly determined by marital status, which the armed forces pretend are not income to deflect criticism from civil rights activists appalled that single serviceman aren't receiving equal pay for equal work. However, single soldiers themselves have been quite vocal on the subject, complaining that they are denied privacy, autonomy, space, leisure, and even decent food by virtue of their inadequate compensation, which forces them to live in communal barracks while their married counterparts have their own houses on or off base. In addition to cramped, supervised quarters more suited to adolescents in reform school than hardworking adults serving our country, enlisted singles report that they are always on call and must endure the most undesirable, inconvenient duties because they can never leave the workplace. Furthermore, the FSA, which is financial compensation for the emotional hardship of prolonged separation from spouse and children, is a slap in the face to the young men and women in uniform who desperately miss parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews and nieces, cousins, unmarried romantic partners, and friends.

"While reforms have ameliorated some of the inequality between married and single service members, a gulf still remains. Besides the aforementioned injustices, single servicemen are subjected to the same discriminatory policies that plague the private sector, including unequal compensation in the form of healthcare and death and disability benefits.

"Perhaps in response to all these extra goodies, military personnel marry and have children earlier, on average, than the general population does. For example, the average member of the Army is 24 years old at the birth of his or her first child, an age at which most civilians aren't even married yet. Unfortunately, as marriage rates have soared, so have divorces. One wonders if some of those young officers are flocking to the altar just to get their own slice of marriage perk pie.... "
 

Not surprisingly, European countries made their military rules more fair to unmarried service members long before the US addressed the issue.  For example, AtMP reported on Great Britain's decision to give survivors benefits to unmarried partners back in 2003.