| October 2000 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Update: In this issue:
Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project ATMP Responds To New Marriage Book A newly-released book, The Case for Marriage, argues about the importance of marriage and recommends that Americans stop recognizing other kinds of relationships and families as "equally valid." The authors recommend that parents should pressure their children to get married and that employers should not allow male-female couples to receive domestic partner health benefits, and they call discrimination against unmarried people "simple common sense." ATMP's critique of the book, "What The Case for Marriage Doesn't Want You To Know," is online . New Intern Joins ATMP Team Christopher de Beer has begun to contribute his time and skills in the ATMP office as our newest intern. Chris brings his experience working for other nonprofit organizations to his work at ATMP. Welcome, Chris! In the Media ATMP Quoted in USA Today and Omaha World-Herald A USA Today article about the new book The Case for Marriage quoted ATMP Executive Director Dorian Solot. The article explored the ongoing debate about whether women benefit from marriage as much as men do. Solot said, "Women today are realistic about marriage. They know that it does not come with a guarantee, and there is no magic in a wedding ring. The magic comes from a strong, healthy relationship." In an article on women who are not in a rush to get married, Solot pointed out that women today can have economic stability, companionship, security, and even children without being married. She said that many young women aren't anti-marriage, but that they want it to be their choice and to be the right choice. Men Are From Mars To Ask Whether Women Need Husbands An episode of the new NBC television talk show Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, hosted by Cybill Shepherd, is expected to air in October on the topic "Do Women Need Husbands?" Guests ATMP co-founder Marshall Miller and advice columnist Amy Alkon say women can have happy, fulfilling lives as singles or in long-term unmarried relationships. Look for updates as to when the show might air on our homepage. Co-Founder Interviewed on SiteSherpa.com Marshall Miller did a light-hearted interview with the friendly folks at SiteSherpa.com. Miller talked about the "tremendous role" the Internet has played in connecting unmarried people to each other. He also confirmed that unmarried couples have more fun surfing the web! Book Buzz Man and Wife in America: A History, by Hendrik Hartog (Harvard University Press, 2000) Because the author of Man and Wife in America is a professor of the history of law, the book approaches the history of marriage from a legal perspective. Readers interested in what it was like to be married in the 1800s are likely to be disappointed, but those who are fascinated by the impact the courts and legislators had on people's lives may find this dense, academic book an interesting journey. From the perspective of the courts, the history of marriage is primarily a history of divorce and separation -- after all, there was rarely a need for legal involvement in a marriage that was going well. Throughout its pages, author Hartog tells the stories of individual couples (usually in marriages turned sour) exploring both how the legal system dealt with the complexity of their case and how court decisions affected future couples. Hartog sheds light on the misleading nature of the low divorce rate early in this century. Until more recent decades, most couples who split up simply separated (and in many cases, remarried) without ever obtaining a divorce. The book presents separation as common, though no one knows how common since there was no official count of separated couples. In the days before computer tracking systems, moving to the next county or the next state was usually sufficient to start a new life without involving the courts. In its weighty style, Man and Wife in America grants its readers occasional insights gleaned from individual stories, but it is clearly intended more for lovers of the legal world than lovers of marriage and its alternatives. (If you've read a book that you think might interest others who like to ponder marriage and non-marriage, we invite you to write a couple of paragraphs about it for this section of our newsletter!) Upcoming Conferences Just Living Together: Implications of Cohabitation for Children, Families, and Social Policy Population Research Institute, Pennsylvania State University October 30 - 31, 2000, State College, PA The purpose of the symposium is to examine the origins of cohabitations and how they are linked to the economy and prevailing attitudes and values. Also to be explored are the consequences of cohabitation for family relationships and for the well-being of children who live with adults in such unions. The symposium concludes with a focus on policy issues and legal rights and obligations." For more information about the symposium, go to http://www.pop.psu.edu/events/ fisym00.html or call to request a paper brochure, (814) 865-0486. Tri-State Regional Bisexual Conference Oct. 21-22, New York University, New York City Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot will present the workshop "Happiness Without Wedding Bells: Exploring Alternatives to Marriage." For more information about the conference, go to http://www.biconf.org/tristate2000/. We've presented his popular workshop at colleges and universities, conferences, and community forums throughout the country. Would your group like to invite us to present it? Contact usto discuss the possibility.
American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Conference Family Therapy: The Millennium Summit November 2 -5, Denver, CO At this conference, Marshall Miller will be a speaker on a plenary panel called "Till Death Do Us Part? Family Therapy and the Marriage Movement" along with Maggie Gallagher, Lorraine Blackman, Howard Markman, and moderator Karen Peterson of USA Today.
Creating Change (Conference of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force) November 9 - 13, Atlanta, GA Among hundreds of other workshops for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered activists and heterosexual allies, Marshall Miller will speak on a panel called "Family Secrets: We're Not All Gay and We Don't All Have Kids" to explore how the movement for social and legal recognition of all families can better address the needs of often-overlooked kinds of families. Marshall will discuss the experiences of people in unmarried same-sex and different-sex relationships and explore coalition-building among individuals and organizations that support families. Heartfelt Thanks Many of you have made generous donations in response to our recent request. Thanks so much to Ashton Applewhite, Emily Beighley, Dennis Taylor, and Blake Lewis, Amanda Birmingham and Jeremy Peirce, Arthur Cohen, Scott Coltrane, Nancy Cott, Leia Durland-Jones, Marie Gibson, John Gillis Miriam Greenwald, Maria Ikenberry, Kirsten Isgro and Thomas Schicker, Jonathan Kang, Rich Kerr, Elizabeth Killough, Michael Leibensperger, Tom Limoncelli, Seena Malamed, Stephen May, William Mayo, Ronda Newton and Todd Kent, Marjorie and Ted Nickles, Ann Schranz, Greg Scragg, Tanya Settle and Andre Berthiaume, Beatrice Vicere, Dave White, Pam Williams, and several anonymous donors. It's not too late to send your gift to help embrace the challenge of how to support married AND unmarried relationships and families. You can send a check to ATMP, P.O. Box 991010, Boston, MA 02199. Or call us (518-462-5600) to charge your donation to your credit card. You can show your ongoing support for ATMP making a one-time, monthly, or quarterly credit card gift. As a grassroots organization, the work we do is made possible by the support of individuals like you. Thanks! News From the United States Steinem Marries for First Time at 66 Gloria Steinem, the pioneering feminist who once said she doubted she would ever marry because a married woman becomes a "semi-non-person," has become a first-time bride at the age of 66. Steinem, co-founder of Ms. magazine, married David Bale, 61, the father of Christian Bale, the Shaft and American Psycho actor. Steinem has no plans to adopt her husband's surname. Our letter to the editor of The Brown Daily Herald defended Steinem's right to choice whether to marry – and to change her mind. Our letter also discussed the continued importance of reducing the stigma of being unmarried, and described the emails we receive regularly from women of all ages who describe the enormous pressure to marry that they experience. Alabama Attempts To Lift Interracial Marriage Ban A legislative attempt to repeal Alabama's constitutional ban on interracial marriages has met opposition. The Confederate Heritage Political Action Committee is in the process of raising money to oppose Amendment Two on the Nov. 7 ballot. The amendment would erase Section 102 from the Alabama Constitution, which prohibits the Legislature from authorizing or legalizing "any marriage between any white person and a Negro or descendant of a Negro." The proposed repeal is for symbolic reasons, since interracial marriages are not currently prosecuted. Maryland Credit Union Includes Partners The Maryland State Employees Credit Union (SECU) voted to allow household members, including same-sex and different-sex partners, to become members of the credit union. Until this point, only legal family members of the SECU had been eligible to become members. The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland, along with Free State Justice and other gay civil rights groups in Maryland, had been working with SECU for eight months to pass the amendment. Unmarried Activist Allowed To Live with Partner During Probation An animal-rights activist who hit Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman with a tofu cream pie to protest his announcement of health guidelines that promote meat will be allowed to live with her fiance while on probation despite a Virginia law making this illegal. Before the ruling, the probation officer in Norfolk had insisted that she either marry her fiance immediately, move out, or face a jail term because Virginia law considers all sexual intercourse outside of marriage to be fornication, a misdemeanor. In addition to Virginia, "fornication," "sodomy," and "oral copulation" between unmarried people is illegal in Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Utah. News From Around the World Kursk Unmarried Partners Denied Compensation Six women who were long-term partners of male crewmembers in the Russian Kursk submarine disaster are being denied compensation they would have received if they had been married to the men. In addition, at least three unborn babies orphaned by the disaster are also being denied compensation. Under Russian law wives, parents and children of the dead crew each have a right to compensation equal to 25 times the crewmember’s monthly wage, in addition to a payout of 120 times that salary per family. The Kursk nuclear-powered submarine sunk on Aug. 12 killing all 118 aboard. Same-Sex Couples in Netherlands Gain Right To Marry The Netherlands approved a bill converting the country's registered same-sex partnerships into full-fledged marriages, complete with divorce guidelines and wider adoption rights for same-sex couples. Two years ago, the Netherlands introduced a law allowing same-sex couples to register as partners and to claim social security and other benefits. The new Dutch legislation goes one step farther, creating full equality for same-sex couples. The legislation will give Dutch same-sex couples rights beyond those offered in any other county. The law will take effect early next year. Recognition of Unmarried Partners Considered in Britain Unmarried couples in Britain would be granted the same legal benefits as married people under proposals to change the law approved by the Liberal Democrat conference. Delegates backed a motion allowing any two unrelated people over 16 in England and Wales to enter into a "civil partnership". The move would improve unmarried couples' legal benefits involving pensions, inheritance, tax and social security. Susan Kramer, the Liberal Democrats' former London Mayoral candidate, said same-sex couples needed the protection of the law to enjoy their "stable relationships." Harry Potter Author Supports Single Parents Harry Potter creator J. K. Rowling, a single mother for more than seven years, is speaking at a meeting of the National Council for One Parent Families in central London, calling for additional support. She is planning to make a six-figure donation to the organization. New British Law May Offer More Unmarried Rights The Human Rights Act that was recently enacted in Britain may result in more rights for unmarried same-sex and different-sex couples. The Act takes a rights-based approach that is new for the UK, guaranteeing rights to liberty and security, respect for private and family life and "an effective remedy" to all citizens. The Act specifically rules out discrimination against individuals on the ground of sexual orientation. It remains to be seen how judges will interpret the law. Domestic Partner News (U.S.) Ann Arbor Schools, Dow Jones, Others Approve DP Benefits Ann Arbor's public schools in Michigan will now offer their employees' same-sex partners health benefits. It is one of only a handful of public school districts in the US to extend health care benefits to domestic partners. The extension met no resistance from the school board and is expected to be formally approved before the month is out. The Human Rights Campaign was aware of only four public school districts offering similar benefits: Los Angeles, California; Broward County, Florida; the Lower Merion School District in Pennsylvania; and Madison, Wisconsin. Dow Jones, publisher of the Wall Street Journal, announced it would implement domestic partner benefits for same-sex and different-sex partners of its employees on January 1st. At the event where the announcement was made, the vice president of diversity at NBC said she was embarrassed that hers is the only major TV network that does not provide domestic partner benefits. Other employers that recently added DP benefits include Banc One, First Union Bank, Nokia, Southwest Airlines, and Universal Orlando. Number of Employees Offering Domestic Partner Benefits Increases Sharply The number of employers offering domestic partner health insurance benefits increased 25 percent since last year, and now includes more than 100 of the Fortune 500, according to a report released by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation. About 1 in 5 employers now offers the benefits, and among those that do, 92% offer them to both same-sex and different-sex partners. "Domestic partner benefits are increasingly becoming a standard business practices in corporate America," said Kim Mills, education director of the Human Rights Campaign. To download a full copy of the "State of the Workplace" report, go to the WorkNet section of http://www.hrc.org . State of Minnesota, California Town Consider DP Benefits Governor Jesse Ventura' s administration is exploring ways to extend benefits to same-sex partners of state employees. Ventura recently directed his commissioner of employee relations to study the cost and feasibility of domestic partner benefits, which could include health care and other insurance. The commissioner, Julien Carter, is expected to present Ventura with a plan soon. Carter said the domestic partner provision "helps us tap into another market and also shows our commitment to diversity and equal opportunity." The town of Mountain View, Calif., is considering adding domestic partner benefits for municipal employees. University of Vermont Requires Civil Unions for DP Benefits The University of Vermont has told who currently receive domestic partner benefits that they will have to register civil unions (CUs) under the state's new law if they want to continue to get the benefits. The university has been providing employees' same-sex domestic partners with health insurance and other benefits since 1993. The Alternatives to Marriage Project opposes this move. Rather than forcing all couples to get married or "civil unioned" in order to receive equal pay for equal work, ATMP supports DP plans that treat families fairly regardless of their marital or CU status. Having the option to be married or CU'd is wonderful – but we also need to respect that some couples have serious legal, financial, religious, and philosophical reasons not to register their relationship with the government. California Governor Vetoes Partner Bills Governor Gray Davis vetoed two bills relating to the statewide domestic partners registry he signed into law last year. One would have added registered partners, grandparents, siblings, and adult children to the list of those whose illness can allow qualified workers to take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave to provide care (currently family care leave can only be used to care for a spouse, parent, or minor child.) The second bill would have clarified that in order for male-female couples to register as partners, only one needs to be over age 62. Davis stated that he "would be pleased to consider reasonable changes to the Domestic Partner Act next year." Davis is dealing with hundreds of bills under deadline pressure, so bothveto messages were quite brief and neither offered much information. Florida Court Upholds DP Ordinance A Florida Court of Appeals upheld Broward County's domestic partnership ordinance, derailing another attempt by conservative legal activists to block domestic partnerships for public employees. Jordan Lorence, a lawyer with the Virginia-based Northstar Legal Center that filed the lawsuit, said he would file for an appeal, and some say it is likely the state Supreme Court will ultimately decide the issue. According to the Human Rights Campaign, Lorence is notorious for challenging domestic partner benefits ordinances across the country. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender legal advocates said that a ruling from Florida's highest court upholding the law could prompt other municipalities across the state to enact similar domestic partner provisions. California County, Cities in Connecticut and New York Approve DPs Supervisors in Ventura County, California, voted unanimously to provide health insurance benefits to the same-sex partners of its employees. The vote drew criticism from some community leaders who claimed it was kept from the public. And one supervisor said he did not know that he was voting for the measure. Supervisors said that reconsideration of the bill was unlikely to lead to any changes. While some supervisors supported the reconsideration, none were expected to change their vote on the matter. The towns of Mansfield, Connecticut and Eastchester, New York approved domestic partner benefits for municipal employees. Thanks to Lisa Parkinson for compiling the news in this issue!, If you'd like to learn about becoming a volunteer news compiler for a future issue of the Update (it can be done by e-mail from any location), contact us. |
