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Polyamory PDF Print E-mail

Polyamory means different things to different people (check out the links below for a variety of definitions), but it generally involves honest, responsible non-monogamous relationships.  This could take the form of an "open" relationship, or a group or three or more adults who are "monogamous" within their group (sometimes called polyfidelity), or a limitless set of other situations.  The word polyamory means "many loves."

Many people who are exploring polyamory also have an interest in alternatives to marriage. Some poly people choose not to marry because they feel marriage comes with an assumption of monogamy. Others can't marry, either because it's not legal to marry more than one partner at the same time, or because their partner is the same sex they are. Some poly people are married, but consider their relationship to be an "alternative to marriage."

Polyamory isn't right for everyone. Most people in unmarried relationships want to be monogamous.  Among unmarried couples who are living together, 95% say they expect monogamy from their partner, and the percentage for married couples is only a few points higher. For those who find polyamory is the best fit for them, or who are interested in learning more about it, we've provided some books and links to additional resources.

Polyamory Links:

Loving More
Loving More is an organization that publishes a magazine, holds annual conferences, and provides information and inspiration for people of all orientations who are interested in exploring healthy relationship options including group marriage, open couples, intimate networks, expanded families, and intentional community.

alt.polyamory
This is the website for the list alt.polyamory. It has links to many other poly sites, and to over a dozen poly-related discussion lists.

Polyamory Books:

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt
A how-to guide about negotiating honest non-monogamy, non-traditional relationships, and non-traditional sex.

Lesbian Polyfidelity : A Pleasure Guide for the Woman Whose Heart Is Open to Multiple, Concurrent Sexualoves, by Celeste West.
This was the first book (now there's another one) about honest non-monogamy written specifically for lesbians.

Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer, by Ryam Nearing.
Written by one of the founders of Loving More, this how to manual and reference book is for those who wish to move beyond monogamy in a responsible, ethical, and loving way.

Monogamy, by Adam Phillips.
Phillips' book, a collection of short meditations about the concept of monogamy, raises more questions than it answers -- but we think that's his point.

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, by Dr. Deborah Anapol (1997).
This introduction to polyamory includes sections on ethics, how to tell if polyamory is right for you, skills for successfully managing polyamorous relationships, jealousy, and managing the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy.

Do you have polyamory books, links, or other resources you'd recommend? Let us know so we can add them to this collection!

 

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