Polyamory Books & Links


Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships by Meg Barker. A guide to re-writing the rules, expectations and dynamics of your relationship.

Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol. A well-researched but personal guide to polyamory, the poly lifestyle, and movement.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino. A guide for folks interested in open relationships that contains interviews, an assessment of the pros and cons and common issues that arise

What Does Polyamory Look Like? by Mim Chapman, PhD. A small, useful guide on polyamory and the poly movement.

The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory: A Hands-On Guide to Open Sexual Relationships by Francoise Simpere. A guide to polyamory for folk interested in having an open sexual relationship that tackles an array of questions.

Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy O-Matik. A short but impressionable guide to responsible non-monogamy.

Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships, by Kathy Labriola. A guide for couples, individuals, and families that are either already involved in a polyamorous relationship or who are considering this type of relationship.

Love Unlimited: The Joys and Challenges of Open Relationships by Leonie Linssen and Stephan Wi. A study of twelve couples and individuals as they approach responsible non-monogamy.

Open Marriage: A New Lifestyle for Couples, by Nena and George O’Neill. A contemporary classic that tackles the topics: open vs. closed marriages, jealousy, love, sex, and more!

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt. A how-to guide about negotiating honest non-monogamy, non-traditional relationships, and non-traditional sex.

A straight-forward, basic yet intricate introduction to polyamory. The author is very thorough and impartial, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of living a poly lifestyle.

Lesbian Polyfidelity: How to Keep NonMonogamy Safe, Sane, Honest & Laughing, You Rogue, by Celeste West. This was the first book (now there’s another one) about honest non-monogamy written specifically for lesbians.

Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer, by Ryam Nearing. Written by one of the founders of Loving More, this how to manual and reference book is for those who wish to move beyond monogamy in a responsible, ethical, and loving way.

Monogamy, by Adam Phillips. Phillips’ book, a collection of short meditations about the concept of monogamy, raises more questions than it answers — but we think that’s his point.

The Polyamory Handbook: A User’s Guide, by Peter J. Benson. A book that helps clarify what polyamory is and how to engage in healthy polyamorous relationships. The handbook is a great primer for those who are not as familiar with the subject.

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, by Dr. Deborah Anapol (1997). This introduction to polyamory includes sections on ethics, how to tell if polyamory is right for you, skills for successfully managing polyamorous relationships, jealousy, and managing the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy.


One woman’s blog on being single, polyamorous, and child-free today.

Loving More
Loving More is an organization that publishes a magazine, holds annual conferences, and provides information and inspiration for people of all orientations who are interested in exploring healthy relationship options including group marriage, open couples, intimate networks, expanded families, and intentional community.

This is the website for the list alt.polyamory.  It has links to many other poly sites, and to over a dozen poly-related discussion lists.

Creating A Line-Family
The site is a resource for families like the ones discussed in Robert Henlein’s book, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

Open Fidelity
Open Fidelity is a website and blog about non-monogamous relationships. The creator, Ann Sharman, writes various articles about the subject and how to remain faithful while polyamorous.

Polyamorous Percolations
This blog tracks coverage of polyamory in the mainstream and not-so-mainsPolyamory Links and Bookstream media. Alan, the blogger, provides much commentary, frequent updates, and a rich archive.

Polyamory? What, like, two girlfriends?
Great poly relationship advice for both beginners and the advanced. Widely recommended.

Successful Non-Monogamy
Open relationship coach Marcia Baczynski’s helpful website for individuals new to non-monogamy.

Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up
Opening Up is a website that educates people interested in open relationships of all kinds and provides a list of professionals (psychologists, social workers, etc.) who are knowledgeable about alternative relationships.

Expansive Loving
Expansive Loving is an internationally serving on-line group for those wishing to explore polyamory from a spiritual, “sex-positive,” and/or personal growth perspective. It also serves those  interested in supporting and exploring unconventional relationship dynamics. Expansive Loving has a companion group by the same name on Facebook.

Legal and Financial Issues
Whether you’re living with one partner or many, whether your partnership is same-sex or different-sex, one day you’ll have questions. We help you find answers.

Responsible Polyamory
A short and helpful page on responsible polyamory that includes links to other poly resources. AtMP is one of them!

My Old Friend, Jealousy
A helpful post on jealousy in monogamous and polyamorous relationships by Louisa Leontiades. Check out her book, The Husband Swap.

Do you have polyamory books, links, or other resources you’d recommend?  Let us know so we can add them to this collection!