By: Jessica Gafkowitz

“The Marriage-Go-Round,” written by John Hopkins’ Professor of Sociology and Public Policy, Andrew J. Cherlin, captures both the past and present state of married life in America. Cherlin proposes that our contradictory social values of marriage and personal fulfillment contribute to the nation’s high divorce rate and convincingly argues why Americans should focus less on advocating marriage and more on stable family life, primarily to protect the health and well-being of children. 

Cherlin observes American society has always been quite concerned with marriage, especially today. Marriage for both different and same-sex couples has become a vicious political and social issue, yet we have an incredibly high divorce rate. This irony is attributed to a contradiction between two social values: marriage and personal fulfillment. By many Americans, marriage is considered to be the most favorable way to live one’s family life. It is public, formal and expects life-long commitment from both individuals involved. Yet, freedom, choice, privacy and self-expression are also highly valued. Oftentimes, these two values clash.

Cherlin’s primary concern is not the state of marriage but the overwhelming presence of unstable family life in America today. From the studies and research conducted, Cherlin has concluded that many Americans engage in multiple short-term partnerships, marriages and divorces throughout their lifetime. While respecting personal fulfillment, he still sees these frequent family life transitions as hazardous to children; too much change is happening. As a "solution," the author does not propose marriage. Rather, he wholeheartedly advocates stable family life.

Stable family life could exist in a single parent, unmarried couple, or multiple partner household. A stable, loving unmarried parent household is more healthy for a child than a chaotic, stressful married one. Marriage, Cherlin argues, is not always the "best" choice and certainly not the only option. The fewer transitions a parent makes, the better. He stresses that parents should not jump into new relationships, marriages, etc. Instead, they should weigh decisions carefully; understanding how great an impact their decisions can have on their child or children. To support this argument, Cherlin proposes that a single person would probably best care for a child if s/he remained single as opposed to quickly re-marrying or having a new partner move in. Hasty decisions do not allow a child to fully adjust to the new arrangement. The author delves in even further, proposing that sudden and/ or frequent household changes may increase children's behavioral and emotional problems.

Of course, Cherlin is not opposed to all change. Some changes can be quite beneficial. An example would be two parents deciding to separate due to continuous fighting, abuse, etc. This change would remove the children from an unstable, potentially dangerous environment and hopefully place them into a safer, healthier one. Cherlin seems to suggest here that quality wins; marital status and the quantity of parents does not accurately determine the well-being of a child. Stable, loving parents triumph all.

While reading "The Marriage-Go-Round," I found it difficult not to agree with Professor Cherlin’s points regarding child welfare. If a stable single parent can more than easily care for a child, why should anything change? A loving and healthy long-term family life can only benefit a child. Despite this, changes sometimes need to be made for the sake of the parent or parents involved. "The Marriage-Go-Round" was a refreshing addition to the numerous books available that tackle marriage and child welfare. Professor Cherlin understands the need for Americans to re-think marriage’s place in society and what really is best for our nation’s parents and their children.

Jessica Gafkowitz has been an AtMP intern for over 2 years and is a junior at Brooklyn College. She is currently pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Women's Studies.