By Jo VanEvery

It is often said that families are the building blocks of society. Family in this context is usually understood as the nuclear family household which might then be connected to a wider network of households in an ‘extended family’. As a corollary to this belief, single folk, especially those who live in single person households, are often seen as being a threat to society. The assumption seems to be that our link to ‘society’ is fragile and the ‘marriage’ and ‘family’ are the glue that sticks us all together.

Of course panic about 'selfish' single people and the breakdown of society is often predicated by new statistics on household composition. Single person households are increasing in almost all western industrialized nations. The US Census Bureau has recently reported that single person households grew by 21% between 1990 and 2000. But one should not infer from this that large numbers of people are retreating from community. The vast majority of adults will live in single person households at some point, or more than one point in their lives. Many will do so in early adulthood. Many will do so after a relationship ends. And many will do so later in life after a partner dies. Some will live alone for most of their adult lives but we are inherently social beings and the numbers who will do so are few.

And if we observe carefully, there is plenty of evidence that single people are often involved in building and maintaining communities in a whole range of ways. Ties to community extend beyond the household for singles as they do for others. I know a single, never married woman in her mid 40s. She owns a small townhouse in which she lives alone. She is a professional with considerable experience in communications and usually works on a series of short-term contracts. She has also spent at least 3 periods of a minimum of 12 months in Africa working for a major international aid agency. It is likely that she will go again, either to Africa or another area in need of assistance.

Think of the logistics of volunteering for an overseas aid organization. They usually demand a 12-month commitment. The work is dangerous (often in war zones). The hours are long. The conditions are tough. And unless you both have skills that are needed in that particular zone at that particular time, it would be difficult for a couple to go together (though many do). Without single people committed to the idea of society – helping others, contributing to the 'greater good'—much of the vital work done by international non governmental organizations (NGOs) would not get done.

But single people also contribute in more local and mundane ways. This same friend maintains a wide circle of friends, babysits children of some of her friends, helps care for friends when they are ill, organizes social activities. How many single people are called upon by their brothers, sisters and friends in an emergency? But single people also contribute to their communities in ways less connected to personal ties of family or friendship. They volunteer for a range of organizations. They are active in religious organizations.

It is not that single people contribute more than married people. A Canadian survey of volunteering in 2000 found Married people had the highest rate of volunteering (28%) and widowed Canadians had the lowest rate (17%). However, volunteers who were widowed, or who were separated or divorced, gave more hours (253 and 181 hours, respectively) than those who were married (165) or single (136). (Hall, McKeown & Roberts, 2001; available online.)

Recall that the widowed, separated and divorced are often living in single person households and thus ‘single’. The same survey notes that overall rates of volunteering are going down but that those for widowed people are going up. Single people (including those who have been married) make an important contribution to society through their volunteer work, which should not be overlooked on the assumption that they are 'selfish'.

[Editor's note: an essay by our colleague Tom Coleman features similar statistics about single volunteers in the U.S.]

As societies become more complex, anxiety about the tension between the individual and society increases. We worry about what is holding us together. It is tempting to look for simple solutions, like ‘marriage’, and to interpret the decline in married couple household with children as a proportion of all households as an omen of societal breakdown. But we live longer and are more prosperous than any period in human history. And, as a consequence, we each live in a greater variety of households and contribute to society in a greater variety of ways throughout our lifetimes. Keeping society together relies on valuing the contributions we make regardless of our marital status or with whom we live.