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| September 2001 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Update In this issue:
Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project Around the Alternatives to Marriage Project Bring Alternatives to Marriage to Your Campus or Group This fall, get your campus, conference, or community talking about alternatives to marriage with one of our workshops. ATMP offers interactive workshops and guest lectures for college classes on a variety of topics. Check out the list of descriptions [no longer available online], and contact ATMP for more information. Party with ATMP in Boston Next Month Join us for a Boston houseparty to benefit ATMP on Sunday, October 14th from 2 to 4 p.m., where you'll be able to eat, drink, mingle with others who support family diversity, and contribute to ATMP's work! For details,contact us with your mailing address and we'll send you an invitation (if you already get letters from us at a Boston-area address, you don't need to give us your address again). Want to host a party? You can give your friends the chance to learn a little about the politics of marriage and non-marriage, and help a great cause while they're at it! Contact us to learn about the Alternatives to Marriage Project's houseparty package! If you'd like your announcement or event that affects unmarried people considered for inclusion in this Update,contact us. Intern and Volunteer Positions Available ATMP currently has positions available for an intern or volunteer in our Providence/Boston-area office. The time commitment could range from a few hours to a few days per week, and interns or volunteers would need to be able to use a computer. To discuss the possibilities, please contact us at. To read about volunteer opportunities available from any location, go to our Support ATMP page, ../getinvolved.html . In the Media ATMP Appears in Cosmo, Home Shopping Network, Florida Times-Union The current issue of Cosmopolitan quotes executive director Dorian Solot about how to build a strong cohabiting relationship. "It is really important for both parties to be clear about what they expect," she said, pointing out that being clear about whether you plan to get married or not reduces the risk that one partner will end up surprised and disappointed. Solot also appeared on Commonwealth Avenue, a talk show that airs on the Home Shopping Network in the Boston-area, and in a Florida Times-Union article about cohabitation. ATMPers in Papers Around Country ATMP members and supporters continued to get their voices heard in media around the country this month. A Philadelphia Inquirer article about the local increase in unmarried partners featured a photo of ATMP member Christine Gannon and her partner Anthony Rosella. Gannon commented "When I go into stores, people call me Anthony's wife. In this community, even if you're not married, you get this status anyway." Psychologist Nancy Saunders, also an ATMP member, commented that "it can be harder [to be an unmarried couple] in the suburbs because there's more of a nuclear-family bias." Three Los Angeles Times articles quoted at least seven different ATMPers. Chris Sheets talked about how her father pressures her to marry. Sidelia Reyna commented on why she prefers to stay unmarried to her partner: "When couples get married, there are expectations about gender roles, about having children, about settling down." Kit Russell said she plans to marry her partner but is glad they lived together first. Another woman, Shannon, said, "Other than dressing up in a beautiful dress and having one day that is totally about me, I have no real desire to be married. Which is not to say that I don't want a committed relationship. I do, and that is what I have." ATMP supporter Ben Zeman wrote a column in his local paper, MetroWest News, about the importance of married people supporting same-sex marriage, and gave http://www.unmarried.org as a resource. We post notices of many articles like these on the ATMP homepage as they appear, so check it for regular updates. You can read some of these articles and columns: Florida Times-Union, '"Pop the Question' Takes on New Meaning" Los Angeles Times, "Census Shows More Older Americans Living Together Instead of Marrying" Readers' Comment Regarding the review you published on Baby Boon: How Family-Friendly America Cheats the Childless, it seems to me that we should all be in favor of childless folks subsidizing people with children. We may quarrel with where the subsidies go and the way that they benefit the rich more than the poor, but it's for sure they don't all just go to married folks. Who will pay our social security taxes, read any memoirs we write, and take care of us when we are old, if not the next generation? People who don't contribute to raising that next generation personally are getting what economists call a "free ride" as Nancy Folbre points out in her book, "Who Cares for the Kids?". They ought to chip in to help invest in the next generation. All this doesn't mean that we shouldn't also extend caregiving benefits to those who care for the elderly, but I think that this new attempt to label kids private luxury goods that people would finance on their own is something we should all adamantly oppose. Best,Stephanie Coontz National Co-Chair, Council on Contemporary Families If you'd like to continue the conversation about what you read in the Alternatives to Marriage Update all month long, join over 350 unmarried folks and their friends on our online discussion list, ATMP-Talk. To subscribe, send a message that says "sub atmp-talk" to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Heaps of Thank Yous We bid a sad farewell to Wendy Layton, our fabulous summer intern, who returns to Smith College this fall. Wendy leaves our office in better shape than she found thanks to her website and database improvements, email inquiry responses, and help with projects large and small. Thank you, Wendy! Much appreciation to Linda Smith, C.P.A., for her generous donation of accounting services for ATMP. Thanks, too, to the many people who sent donations in response to our recent mailings and in advance of our upcoming party. In our annual report, we will be acknowledging all the people whose gifts help ATMP work for justice for all. You can be among them -- it's easy to make an online donation at http://www.guidestar.org/partners/networkforgood/donate.jsp?ein=04-3513466 . Tidbits Oprah Says No Plans To Marry Partner On Larry King Live this week Oprah Winfrey said she does not have plans to marry her partner of 16 years, Steadman Graham. She said marriage has never been important to her, that their relationship continues to grow stronger over the years, and that it works "really, really solidly well" without marriage. She said that her fans don't care if she's married, but that they wish she's have a wedding. "They want doves to fly," she said. "They want to know what I wore, how much you spend on the cake, who came." Australian Artists' Ads Encourage Marriage -- and Question It An Australian public art collaboration called "Hey, Hetero!" showcased street posters, billboards, and magazine ads with messages like, "Hey, Hetero! Get married, because you can!" and "Hey, Hetero! When they say family, they mean you!" The project, a collaboration between artist Deborah Kelly and photographer Tina Fiveash aims to point out the often-invisible culture of heterosexuality, with its own customs, rituals, and rights. You can see the posters at http://abc.net.au/arts/news/hetero/heterocover.htm . Sizzling Statistics Thanks to Stacey Slaughter for her help compiling the statistics and news in this issue! Fewer Divorces, Fewer Marriages in UK The divorce rate in England and Wales is at an all time low, but experts say that's mostly because fewer are getting married. The rate decreased 2.4% between 1999 and 2000, bringing it to the lowest level (12.7 divorces per 1000 married people) since 1979. Divorce rates were highest among people ages of 25-29, but the average age of divorcing couples has risen to 41.3 for men and 38.8 for women. Christian Cohabitation Rates Vary, Divorce Rates Do Not According to a survey of American adults, 51% of atheists, 36% of Roman Catholics, 30% of Protestants, and 25% of born-again Christians said they cohabited before marriage. The survey found that divorce rates are nearly identical for all Christians (33%), regardless of whether they are born-again or not. You can read more about the study at http://www.barna.org/cgi-bin/PagePressRelease.asp?PressReleaseID=95&R eference=F News From the United States Bill Would Expand Family Leave Act to Include Domestic Partners Representative Carolyn Maloney introduced a bill in Congress to broaden the Family and Medical Leave Act to allow employees time off to care for a sick grandparent, sibling, mother- or father-in law, or domestic partners. The FMLA already allows employees to take time off to care for a sick spouse, child or parent. Civil Unions Most Common Among Non-Vermonters One year after Vermont began granting civil unions to same-sex couples, the state reports that 2,554 civil unions have been granted, 2,044 of which were obtained by non-Vermont residents. Female couples applying for civil unions outnumbermale couples by about two-to-one. After Vermonters, civil unions have been most popular with residents of New York, Massachusetts and California. West Virginia Offers Marriage Bonus with Welfare Checks West Virginia is the only state in the country to offer welfare recipients an extra $100 monthly if they get and remain married. To receive the monthly bonus the recipient couple must be legally married, live in the same household and be named jointly on the assistance check. Women's advocates say cash incentives may coerce low-income women into remaining in abusive relationships. The state does not have information on how many couples are receiving the bonus or what its effect has been. The Alternatives to Marriage Project opposes programs like this one that discriminate on the basis of marital status. Welfare funds should be used to help families escape poverty, not to punish the children of unmarried parents (who may be unmarried because of personal beliefs or because their partner abandoned them, died, would make a poor spouse, or is of the same-sex). Same-Sex Couples Make Up 11% of Unmarried Partner Homes According to the 2000 Census, households composed of same-sex partners totaled over 601,209 nationwide, a 314% increase since 1990. Same-sex partners made up 11% of unmarried partner households. Though California, Texas and New York claim the biggest shares of the country’s same-sex couple-led homes, more than 99% of all counties had at least one household headed by unmarried partners of the same sex. Polygamist Sentenced to Five Years in Prison Utah polygamist Tom Green was sentenced to five years in prison and ordered to pay $78,000 in welfare payment restitution, while his five wives and some of his 30 children wept in the courtroom. The case was the first prosecution of bigamy in 50 years. Green is also awaiting trial on child rape charges because one of his wives was 13 when she conceived their first child. Utah Couple Tried for Marriage Immigration Scam Two Utah residents were tried in Federal Court for running a scam in which they were paid by illegal aliens to help them marry American citizens in order to try to remain in the U.S. The two residents coached couples on how to make the relationships appear legitimate. The scam was discovered when a woman’s baby was kidnapped to induce her to participate in the scam. The woman was also promised $5,000 and an apartment to participate. News From Around the World Australian Archbishop Proposes Tax on Divorce Sydney's Catholic Archbishop has proposed a divorce tax, claiming that the country's no-fault divorce policy makes it too easy for couples to end their marriages. Relationships Australia's executive director says the proposal could worsen the social consequences of divorce, bribing couples to keep themselves and their children in unhealthy situations. Australian Catholic Church Wants To Ban Fertility Treatment for Unmarried The Catholic Church is waging a court battle aimed at banning unmarried women and lesbians from access to fertility treatment. A lower court decision gave unmarried women access to in vitro fertilization services last year. The Church plans to argue that discrimination on the basis of marital status is irrelevant. Married Archbishop Tells Pope Priests Should Be Allowed To Marry An archbishop who was recently married in one of Rev. Sun Myung Moon's mass wedding ceremonies met with the Pope to explain his belief that priests should be allowed to marry and have children. The Vatican has given the archbishop a deadline to leave his wife and return to the church or face excommunication. The 71 year old archbishop married a woman age 43. Additional Rights Suggested for Unmarried Partners in UK Britain's Law Society has suggested changes to increase legal recognition of unmarried couples. It recommends that same-sex and different-sex couples should be allowed to draw up legally-binding cohabitation contracts, and that courts be allowed to share assets and pensions between unmarried couples if they separate. The proposal results from the growing concern that people are unaware that they have virtually no legal rights unless legally married. UK Health Plans Exclude Unmarried Partners A survey of over 500 private health plans offered through employers found that almost half cover married spouses, 48% cover common-law different-sex spouses (unmarried partners), and 44% cover same-sex partners. A partner at the consulting firm that conducted the survey said, "A significant number of plans appear to be out of tune with current social trends. As things stand many employers could be accused of acting unjustly, as a large proportion of partners are not allowed membership." In the United States, about 18% of employers offer health benefits to domestic partners. Of employers that offer the benefits, 92% make them available to both same-sex and different-sex unmarried couples. UK Car Insurance Companies Slow to Insure Partners Together Unmarried different-sex couples are accusing car insurance companies of discrimination for refusing to provide joint coverage. The insurance companies are instead forcing one partner to take out insurance and name the other as a driver. The discriminatory companies say that their policies are justified because married couples have fewer accidents, but companies that already offer joint insurance dispute that claim. UK Military Considers Same-Sex DP Benefits After a meeting with the Ministry of Defense, Members of the Armed Forces Lesbian and Gay Association said the Ministry agreed that same-sex partners of military personnel could be considered spouses. The British military reversed its ban on gays in January 2000. A spokesperson for the Ministry said its current policies made it vulnerable to legal challenges from same-sex and different-sex unmarried couples. Scottish Unmarried Teacher Banned from Teaching The Catholic Education Commission said that an unmarried mother does not meet the Church’s moral criteria regarding religious beliefs and character and has been banned from teaching in a denominational primary school. The woman lives with her male partner and their toddler daughter. Although the woman had been a temporary teacher for four years, she was denied a permanent contract. Brazil To Revise Marriage Code Brazil is revising its nearly 100-year old civil code. If signed by the president, the new code will no longer give men the option of divorce if they learn their bride is not a virgin, makes it possible for divorced men to get custody of their children, and refers to "person" instead of only "man." Nigerian Man Jailed for Marriage Citizenship Scam A 19-year old South African woman was jailed when it was discovered that she attempted to marry a Nigerian man for money to provide him with citizenship. They had planned to divorce three months later. The couple was exposed during a pre-marital interview, and the Nigerian man was sentenced to a year in prison. Domestic Partner News (U.S.) Gannett, Scripps, Others Offer DP Benefits Gannett Company and E.W. Scripps Company, the largest and ninth largest newspaper chains respectively, will offer domestic partner benefits to their employees starting next year. Same-sex and different-sex employees’ partners will be eligible for health and life insurance. Employees must have been in a relationship for 12 months to qualify. The following employers recently announced or implemented domestic partner benefits, according to the Human Rights Campaign: Ikon Office Solutions, Polaroid Corporation , Sara Lee Corporation, Walt Disney Internet Group, Washington Mutual, Scholastic, Lillian Vernon Corporation, City of Des Moines, IA, St. Louis Post Dispatch, Northhampton Community College, City of Decatur, GA, Elibrium, Genzyme Corporation, Random House, and the Rialto Unified School District (for non-teaching employees only). Court Upholds Vancouver's DP Benefits The Washington Supreme Court ruled that the city of Vancouver can keep providing health benefits to employees' same-sex and different-sex domestic partners. The policy was challenged because it was believed to create a form of marriage that violates state law prohibiting same-sex marriage. The case against the policy was argued by the Northstar Legal Center, a conservative Virginia law firm. Massachusetts Gives Limited Benefits to Same-Sex Partners Acting Massachusetts Governor Jane Swift announced that she is extending some benefits to the same-sex partners state employees. These will include paid leave to care for a sick partner, bereavement leave, and paid time for court appearances or counseling due to domestic violence. Health benefits were not included. Swift opposes same-sex marriage, and her marriage-related policies came under scrutiny recently after her gay stepson publicly pointed out that her husband has been married four times. Petitioners Seek to Prevent DP Benefits in Houston Anti-gay activists in Houston delivered more than 22,000 signatures to the city’s secretary’s office in an attempt to prevent the city from ever offering health benefits to the domestic partners of its public employees. If the city certifies 20,000 of the signatures, residents will vote on a referendum in November. Houston does not have currently have any plan to offer domestic partner benefits. Quoteworthy "I don't assume that men and women have to be married or living together to produce a healthy child, but they do need to learn how to work together and we don't have a system that encourages that." - Ronald Mincy, Columbia University professor of social work and author of What It Means To Be Daddy: Fatherhood for Black Men Living Away From Their Children, on Salon.com, ( http:/ /www.salon.com/books/int/2001/08/09/black_fathers/index.htmlAugust 9, 2001 |
