| Summer 2006 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Project Update - Summer 2006
IN THIS ISSUE:
This issue explores different reasons to keep—or take—government out of your relationship. Readers who are familiar with arguments for not marrying might yet be surprised by the idea of a principled divorce. Have we spotted a new trend? In February, AtMP received this inquiry: "Do you know of any married couples that are getting divorced to protest the current state of marriage? My husband and I are debating this issue because we don't feel right about being a part of an 'institution' that clearly discriminates [against] loving couples of all sexes. We're thinking of having kids soon and we don't want to give them the wrong impression; we want to teach them to live what they believe. My husband and I are married for 15 years (married really young) and we're committed to each other unconditionally. So other than a tax cut, we're not sure how 'marriage' actually benefits us. Thank you for standing up for the rights of all people." Clearly people don't want government to approve, define or constrain their relationships—especially at the expense of others. In this issue, Jen Gaboury and Sabrina Messenger describe their lives of commitment-sans-certificate, and Jessica Mordsley urges marriage boycotters to stand firm. PJ and Denise Paulson describe the strength they found through divorce. This issue also introduces AtMP interns and activists. If you have a story to share, write us. Read Readers' Letters to the Editor. We're seeking a new editor for Update! This is a volunteer position with significant responsibility and visibility. Producing Update involves lots of smart, dedicated volunteers and follows a predictable quarterly cycle of activity. Most of the activity is done by email, some by phone. The editor is responsible for the first two phases of each cycle: Content Creation & Content Production. Content creation involves: soliciting, refining and generating ideas for articles, recruiting volunteer writers, and doing some writing. Content production involves: setting deadlines and making sure writers send their articles & photos on time; editing articles for length & grammar; creating headlines, captions & abstracts; deciding the order of articles; and compiling it all electronically. All this probably takes less than an hour a week during the first two months of each quarter, and about 8-10 hours total during the last month of each quarter. If this is your dream job, send us a note! Meet an AtMP Board Member: Jennifer Gaboury
I was a sophomore in college when I realized that I didn't want to marry. I was having a conversation with a friend who was struggling with how to tell her mother that she was a lesbian, anticipating her disappointment that her only daughter would not one day get (legally, properly) married in a gown and a church. I remember feeling that it would be wrong to marry when she could not, like sitting at a segregated lunch counter. In 2003, my partner Jay and I were committed. We called the ceremony a "commitzvah"... Opinion: Reaffirming Our Relationship by Getting Government Out of It, by PJ Paulson and Denise Paulson  We are involved in quite a bit of peer counseling that involves alternatives to marriage or relationship issues. The biggest concerns people have is how does society view them and how does God view them? The God view issue is something we had to learn about ourselves. After much talk and support with our pastor, we realized that we were ok to have an alternative lifestyle and that there are many out there that need to hear and understand that for their own fulfillment and happiness…. Local Activists State the Case AtMP supporters have been taking action to hold the media and elected officials accountable for fairness towards unmarried people. In April: Jim (MN) and Roger (MS) wrote letters to the New York Times to commend its coverage of inequitable income taxation for unmarried people. In May: Yvonne (DC) wrote to 6 local media outlets urging them to cover AtMP's statement on marital status discrimination in housing; and (while attending an AtMP fundraising party in Boston, MA) Ulla, Tom, Mike, Sarah, Patricia, Dave, Eric, Dana and John signed postcards educating legislators about how proposed state constitutional amendments affect unmarried people. In June: Larry (MO) wrote his US Senators and Congressman against the proposed federal marriage amendment. Go Team!! You can be an activist simply by voting in your local elections. Make sure you're registered to vote! Many websites offer printable registration forms—the League of Women Voters' site is especially informative. Poem: Happily Unmarried to Each Other, by Sabrina Messenger
You made it this far without tying the knot Donations keep you Update'd Doesn't it feel good to see positive reflections of the unmarried community in the media and in Update, AtMP's quarterly newsletter? Through AtMP, widely diverse people recognize their shared values and interests. AtMP is a powerful grassroots group with a tiny budget. Donations pay our staff, keep our website running, and print and mail Update. Set up automated monthly or quarterly credit card payments - today! 
Meet an AtMP Intern: Diana Sarhan I was thrilled to accept the position as an AtMP intern. It has been a fascinating experience and I am grateful to have been a part of such a worthy organization. I found AtMP through a class I took at Pace University. I am a senior and I am a double major in English and Women's & Gender Studies... On June 6, 2006, Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) stood before the U.S. Senate and the C-SPAN public and said "The Alternatives to Marriage Project is quoted frequently in the mainstream media." Of course, we don't agree with the Senator about using the U.S. Constitution to define and restrict marriage, but we appreciate the recognition! Our recent media appearances include: The Washington Post and its syndication affiliates, Boston Globe Magazine, Philadelphia Inquirer, XM Satellite Radio channel 169 "The Power". |
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