By Sarah Wright

The Fargo Forum (North Dakota)

April 13, 2003

Between 1990 and 2000, only seven states had larger increases in the number of unmarried partner households than North Dakota. Yet, the recent legislative debate about the state's anti-cohabitation law failed to appreciate this important demographic shift.

Census reports reveal that the average American now spends the majority of his or her lifetime unmarried. Legislators in North Dakota and across the country would do well to know why this is true. After all, society has a greater interest in public policy that is rational rather than sentimental.

Ironically, divorce is one reason behind today's cohabitation statistics. Census data show that the majority of cohabiting couples include at least one person who previously was married. Most divorced people do remarry, but often cohabit before a second ceremony. This effort to assess the relationship's potential for lifetime commitment is not only deliberate but also wise.

Especially for younger people, cohabitation is a step between dating and marriage. Like their divorced counterparts, they view living together as a way to gauge compatibility. Although this step might slow down the courtship process itself, most young couples who live together today do marry.

Economics also play a significant role in cohabitation and marriage decisions. For one thing, research shows that marriage rates rise in times of economic prosperity and fall in economic slumps. Many people who have dated and are in love simply cohabit until they can afford the wedding they want. Others face harsher choices. Senior citizens and those who have suffered the loss of a spouse receive pensions and annuities that would cease upon remarriage. Likewise, for severely disabled cohabitors, marriage would only add insult to injury by reducing or eliminating monetary benefits. And case studies document a feeling among some women on welfare that welfare represents a more secure way to maintain income than marriage.

The law itself actually encourages cohabitation, specifically among same-sex couples who cannot get married in North Dakota or anywhere else in the country. The last Census reported 1.2 million people living with a same-sex partner.

The legislators of North Dakota should know that a law that has not been enforced for 65 years raises obvious questions. A good starting point might be to ask how 2003 is different from 1938. When the issue is again debated in North Dakota, as surely it will be, I hope every citizen will consider these facts and raise additional questions. \

Sarah Wright is a board member of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, which advocates for equality and fairness for unmarried people, including those who choose not to marry, cannot marry or live together before marriage.