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| Winter 2005 |
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Alternatives to Marriage Project
Update - Winter 2005
IN THIS ISSUE: If a recent license plate bill proposed by Virginia state Delegate Scott Lingamfelter passes, Virginians like myself who support family diversity may well find beltway traffic more suffocating than usual. "Supporters of traditional marriage" will be able to purchase smug plates featuring intertwined gold wedding rings over a heart. Those of us who question "traditional" marriage are likely to find ourselves stuck in traffic jams behind these plates with a little too much time to wonder, whatever happened to "Virginia is for lovers?" Perhaps the above example is trivial, but it's the little things like license plates that stand in for and even normalize larger cultural trends. On both the micro and macro levels, 2005 promises to be a challenging year for those interested in protecting progressive family values. Consider the facts: In the November elections, 11 out of 11 states passed ballad initiatives rejecting same-sex marriage. At present, supporters of one-man-one-woman marriage are continuing their push to further protect the "sanctity" of the institution through a constitutional amendment that could hurt both GLBT and straight people. Couples in many states are now worried about the future of their domestic partner health benefits, joint insurance policies, and legal recognition of contracts they've written. This winter appears to be the worst of times for forward-thinking organizations like the Alternatives to Marriage Project; it may also be the best. After all, challenge can be galvanizing. Those of us who long to live, work, and love creatively may well find that *now* is the time to define and claim our morality and to protect our families, whatever form they take. Through op-ed pieces and articles AtMP members already have been leaders in the ongoing battle to protect domestic partner benefits. This newsletter offers numerous other ways for AtMP supporters to get involved: by contributing to our Double Dare Campaign, joining a chapter, writing for this newsletter, or purchasing AtMP products.
Finally, in this newsletter, board member Sarah Wright and opinions writer Teri Hu both speak of the satisfaction they get from challenging institutional norms and supporting their own family structures. Each writer, while focused on different issues, suggests the importance of staying true to one's own vision of what makes a healthy relationship or family -- however others, for the sake of conservatism or convenience, may try to rewrite that vision. An important message for difficult times, one which inspires me to propose my own license plate slogan. "Virginia is for Lovers, All Lovers." --KS AtMP Seeks New Executve Director In response to the news that AtMP's founders, Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, have decided it's time for them to move on to other projects, the Alternatives to Marriage Project has begun a nationwide search for a new executive director or an interim executive director. We believe AtMP is in a strong position for this transition, with a large and enthusiastic mailing list, exceptional media exposure and media contacts, a solid fundraising base, a motivated board of directors across North America, and an issue that makes headlines nearly every week of the year. We will be working with an experienced consultant who has assisted other nonprofits with similar leadership transitions, and making every attempt to make this transition as thoughtful and careful as it can be. We are excited about this opportunity for AtMP, and we hope you will support the Alternatives to Marriage Project during this important time (it's easy to donate -- your gift will help us be able to afford to hire the best new executive director available!). Check out the job description. Feel free to forward it to friends or lists you subscribe to -- or to apply yourself! Double Dare Campaign Continues AtMP continues to double dare you into 2005! As our ambitious fundraising campaign continues, our goal is to double our number of donors (goal: donations from 330 people in 2005) and the size of our budget (goal: $60,000 in 2005) so we can reach double the number of people and make twice as much of an impact on the world!
Thanks to all of you whose generosity makes Caitlin's paycheck possible -- thirty of you have already made donations in 2005. But over 7,200 people receive this newsletter. We need everyone's help, especially since we want to be able to offer the most competitive salary possible to AtMP's new executive director. We dare you to help -- for an organization this small, every gift really does make a difference. Donate today:
Online with
a credit card (secure site). No need to be a member -- just fill in the
amount halfway down the page.
AARP Bulletin Covers Unmarried Seniors
CNN Films "Happy Singles" AtMP New York Houseparty
National AP Quotes AtMP on Increase in Unmarried People
Domestic Partner Benefit Advocacy Continues Other AtMP media appearances in the last quarter included: Television: NewsProNet (produced a news segment that aired on local TV stations around the country)
Print Media: Los Angeles Times, Wall Street Journal, AM New York, Asbury
Park Press (NJ), Bi Women, COLAGE newsletter, Daily Egyptian (Southern
Illinois University), Dallas Morning News, Imagine Magazine, Metroland
(Albany, NY), St. Paul Pioneer Press, Tribune Review (PA) Online: Medical News Today, Smartmoney.com, Townhall.com, Women's ENews Opinion: By Any Other Name, by Teri Hu
Book Review: I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage 
New "Marriage for Healthcare" Cartoon on Shirts and Mugs
Growing numbers of couples are getting married because they need joint health care insurance. New Yorker cartoonist Paul Karasik drew an original cartoon on the subject for AtMP. He shows a bride and groom vowing not "until death do us part" but "until universal health care exists." The cartoon is now available on t-shirts and mugs, where proceeds from sales benefit AtMP's work. Check them out. AtMP products make great Valentine's Day gifts! Our most popular items include, "I'd get married but I don't believe in that lifestyle" mugs and "My parents are married, but I don't hold it against them" bumper stickers. Write for Our Website and Newsletter! AtMP is continuing to expand our list of available newsletter and website writers. We'd love to see opinion pieces on marriage or alternatives to marriage in pop culture; race and marriage or alternatives to marriage; spirituality and marriage or alternatives to marriage; or marriage and the post-election political climate. If you're interested in contributing, please send an email to Editor, Karen Sosnoski: krsosno at aol.com We know AtMP's constituency is incredibly racially diverse. That's represented in the photos on our website, but not nearly enough. We pride ourselves on using photos of real AtMP members and supporters, rather than buying images of models (you guys are pretty cute!). We need more photos of people of color: singles, couples, and families. If you'd be willing to have your smiling face on AtMP's website, please email your photo(s) to atmp at unmarried.org. 
Ever since her all-girls Catholic high school alumni newsletter edited her class notes to disguise her same-sex relationship, Sarah Wright has relied on AtMP as a venue for supporting the truth about people's lives and relationships. Meet this featured board member, see a photo, and learn more about how her involvement with AtMP gives her cause for cautious optimism. Interested in applying to join the board? See our page of information for prospective board members. Newsletter Editor: Karen Sosnoski |
In this issue of the AtMP update, you will also notice the item "AtMP seeks
a new Executive Director." As many of you have already heard, after nearly
seven years of contributing their amazing intellectual and personal energy
to AtMP, founders Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller will be stepping down to
pursue other opportunities. While everyone who has come in contact with
Dorian and Marshall will miss their guidance, knowledge, patience, and
clarity, we are encouraged by their statement that they will be "only a
phone call away," and by their insistence that change can be good, an
opportunity for all of us to re-evaluate AtMP's vision and method.
One of the goals our Double Dare Campaign has been to double the size of our
paid staff, and we've done it (almost) doubling from 1 to 1.5 people!
Caitlin West, our 2004 summer intern, agreed to stay on as a paid part-time
administrative assistant, the first time AtMP has had a paid employee in
this role. As AtMP grows, so, too, do the number of emailed questions,
address changes, and research that needs to be done. With Caitlin's
excellent help, we're doing much better at staying on top of all of it!
No one blinks twice over the millions of women who shed their own family
names for their husband's. So why should people question Teri Hu's choice to
give one child her husband's last name, the other hers? In her entertaining
and thought-provoking op-ed, Hu explores the patriarchal and race-based
assumptions that blind even some liberals to the true factors that build
bonds between siblings. 
