Commitment Ceremony Books & Links

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The Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Weddings, by Tess Ayers and Paul Brown (1999). Our favorite book about planning a commitment ceremony. To read our full review of this book, check out our April 1999 Update.

*Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple, by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller (2002). This book by the founders of Unmarried Equality is the only one that specifically addresses commitment ceremonies for opposite-sex couples. Its chapter on commitment ceremonies and rituals includes ideas for planning a ceremony (how to plan it, what to call it, how to explain it, how to find an officiant, etc.) and stories and reflections from couples who had a variety of different kinds of ceremonies.

Other good sources of ideas, vows, and readings for commitment ceremonies can be found in:


Looking for music to play at your ceremony?  Check out our list of unmarried song lyrics!
As the site describes itself, a place for would-be brides who have more on their minds than planning a reception, women who never for a second believed in Prince Charming and who have not, despite all of the cultural cues, been breathlessly awaiting their wedding day for their whole life.
A great, inclusive website for commitment ceremonies and alternative weddings. It includes monthly updates about new ceremonies and old customs, legal information on finding an officiant for an unusual ceremony and on allowing a friend to officiate at your wedding or civil union, and advice on emotionally preparing to fully experience your ceremony. This website is for couples who are planning legally binding weddings, couples who are planning legally binding civil unions, and couples who are planning commitment ceremonies. It’s for different-sex couples and same-sex couples.


Are there other commitment ceremony-related books or websites you’ve found helpful? Please send them to us so we can help others find out about them!