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Polyamory
Polyamory PDF Print E-mail

Polyamory means different things to different people (check out the links below for a variety of definitions), but it generally involves honest, responsible non-monogamous relationships.  This could take the form of an "open" relationship, or a group or three or more adults who are "monogamous" within their group (sometimes called polyfidelity), or a limitless set of other situations.  The word polyamory means "many loves."

Many people who are exploring polyamory also have an interest in alternatives to marriage. Some poly people choose not to marry because they feel marriage comes with an assumption of monogamy. Others can't marry, either because it's not legal to marry more than one partner at the same time, or because their partner is the same sex they are. Some poly people are married, but consider their relationship to be an "alternative to marriage."

Polyamory isn't right for everyone. Most people in unmarried relationships want to be monogamous.  Among unmarried couples who are living together, 95% say they expect monogamy from their partner, and the percentage for married couples is only a few points higher. For those who find polyamory is the best fit for them, or who are interested in learning more about it, we've provided some books and links to additional resources.

Polyamory Links:

Loving More
Loving More is an organization that publishes a magazine, holds annual conferences, and provides information and inspiration for people of all orientations who are interested in exploring healthy relationship options including group marriage, open couples, intimate networks, expanded families, and intentional community.

alt.polyamory
This is the website for the list alt.polyamory. It has links to many other poly sites, and to over a dozen poly-related discussion lists.

Open Fidelity

Open Fidelity is a website and blog about non-monogamous relationships. The creator, Ann Sharman, writes various articles about the subject and how to remain faithful while polyamorous. 

Polyamorous Percolations

This blog tracks coverage of polyamory in the mainstream and not-so-mainstream
media. Alan, the blogger, provides much commentary, frequent updates, and a rich archive.

Polyamory? What, like, two girlfriends?

Great poly relationship advice for both beginners and the advanced. Widely recommended.

Tristan Taormino's Opening Up

Opening Up is a website that educates people interested in open relationships of all kinds and provides a list of professionals (psychologists, social workers, etc.) who are knowledgeable about alternative relationships.

Expansive Loving

Expansive Loving is a worldwide Yahoo Group for individuals interested exploring polyamory. The site is especially for those who are looking to integrate the poly lifestyle with a spiritual and/religious one.

Legal and Financial Issues

Whether you're living with one partner or many, whether your partnership is same-sex or different-sex, one day you'll have questions. We help you find answers.

 

Polyamory Books:

Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful, by Anthony Ravenscroft. A straight-forward, basic yet intricate introduction to polyamory. The author is very thorough and impartial, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of living a poly lifestyle.   

Open Marriage: A New Lifestyle for Couples , by Nena and George O'Neill. A contemporary classic that tackles the topics: open vs. closed marriages, jealousy, love, sex, and more!

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt
A how-to guide about negotiating honest non-monogamy, non-traditional relationships, and non-traditional sex.

Lesbian Polyfidelity: How to Keep NonMonogamy Safe, Sane, Honest & Laughing, You Rogue

by Celeste West.
This was the first book (now there's another one) about honest non-monogamy written specifically for lesbians.

Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer , by Ryam Nearing.
Written by one of the founders of Loving More, this how to manual and reference book is for those who wish to move beyond monogamy in a responsible, ethical, and loving way.

Monogamy , by Adam Phillips.
Phillips' book, a collection of short meditations about the concept of monogamy, raises more questions than it answers -- but we think that's his point.

The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide , by Peter J. Benson

A book that helps clarify what polyamory is and how to engage in healthy polyamorous relationships. The handbook is a great primer for those who are not as familiar with the subject.

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits , by Dr. Deborah Anapol (1997).
This introduction to polyamory includes sections on ethics, how to tell if polyamory is right for you, skills for successfully managing polyamorous relationships, jealousy, and managing the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy.

Do you have polyamory books, links, or other resources you'd recommend? Let us know so we can add them to this collection!